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Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup, July 2-3
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy....
Uhhh...Go Netherlands?
Never mind running through the streets naked. Adult actress Bobbi Eden promises, um, "BJs" for all her Twitter followers if the Oranje win the World Cup. [Twitter]...
Colombian Police Seize World Cup Trophy Made Of Cocaine
Colombian drugs police have uncovered a World Cup replica the exact size and weight of the real thing — but made entirely out of cocaine. Looks Diego Maradona's mates are going to have to find him another consolation prize…...
Psychic Octopus Predicts Spain, But It's A FRAUD!
Paul the octopus is 5-0 in picking winners in Germany's matches, and the world has been waiting for his semifinal selection. Unfortunately, there's tomfoolery afoot....
Where Are All The Female Soccer Fans?
Nike's had a generally good track record of World Cup ads, until their recent "Paving The Way" spot raised some eyebrows. It features young soccer players thanking the Men's National Team for inspiring them, and doesn't feature a single girl....
World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-Spain (UPDATES)
One match to go before the final four is decided. Fun fact: Soccer was invented in the 17th century by a Jesuit priest in Paraguay. So sayeth the Vatican. Comment as you follow the action at home/work....
Deadspin Classic: Madness, Glory, And The Self-Correcting Aneurysm
Four years ago, in the World Cup final, France's Zinedine Zidane defended the honor of his whore sister and ended his career in an unimaginably bizarre fashion. Afterward, David Hirshey bid a sad adieu....
World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Argentina
This one could be a classic. The Germans have exploded for four goals twice already, and Argentina might be the most talented squad around. Talk about it....
Relive The Ghanian PK Miss Over And Over Again
During stoppage time — in overtime, no less — Uruguay's Luis Suarez was left with no choice but to commit a handball violation. Asamoah Gyan, who had made two PKs during the World Cup already, took it. He missed....
Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: Act IV
It's Friday, which means it's time to tack on a vuvuzela to various indelible moments in world and cultural history. Enjoy and suggest more for next week's final edition....
Meet The USA's Tipsy, Slovenia-Trashing, Bathroom-Snoozing Miss World Contestant (Video)
CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Remember my encounter with the Miss World ladies? Absent from that group was one Lisa-Marie Kohrs, the U.S. representative. We've learned what became of her that day, and what became of her was a sloppy, jingoistic mess....
The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...
World Cup Open Thread: Uruguay-Ghana
A match-up of two surprise teams. Has Ghana recovered from its game against the U.S.? Can Diego Forlan and Luis Suarez work some of that garra charrua magic? Comment along below....
Sea Creatures, Soccer Powers Battle For Supremacy
Paul, the Berlin octopus has correctly predicted every German match so far, and he's picking them over Argentina. Sayco, the Argentine dolphin, thinks otherwise. Gentlemen, choose your slimy undersea prognosticators....
World Cup Open Thread: Netherlands-Brazil
Which team's attack-and-smother tactics will win out? Can Arjen Robben continue to run free around the field, or will the Dutch get crushed in Brazil's boa constrictor defense? Comment below as you watch the game....
Diego Maradona’s Entourage — True Identities Revealed!
Some of you might have noticed that Diego Maradona never goes anywhere without a couple of nice gentleman who look like they run a casino when they're not attempting to scare other teams into losing football matches....
Today's Ridiculous Sex Rumor That Explains England's World Cup Collapse
Did you hear? The English soccer team did not do so well at the World Cup. Want to know why? A locker room divided over a teammate's extramarital affair, of course. Stop me if you've heard this one....
Cristiano Ronaldo Says Goodbye To South Africa
Portugal's main man went down without much of a fight—one garbage time goal in four games—but he let his saliva do the talking as his team left the field and the tournament. Video included below....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 29
Two hard-fought games today. Paraguay bested Japan on PKs and Spain grinded out a 1-0 victory over Portugal. Grinded, schminded. Let's relive the "ese" countries' ousters with goal videos wrapped in a tight layer of cultural insensitivity. To the tape!...
Paraguay Girl, Larissa Riquelme, Will Shed What Little Clothing She Wears If Team Wins Cup
So this girl has turned into living, breathing, boob-heaving monster. Paraguay defeated Japan on PKs and the world seems more interested in the possibility of her disrobing (which she often does) than if her country miraculously wins the World Cup....