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Andrew Luck And The Art Of The Abrupt Exit
I’m not saying that you don’t want to get a text message from Drew Magary on a Saturday night. For one thing it’s easily the quietest way to interact with him, and it’s also a good source of breaking news if you are avoiding your computer at a time when a prominent NFL quarterback abruptly plays the...

What's Going On With Jadeveon Clowney?
Jadeveon Clowney is still not under contract, owing to his refusal to sign the franchise tender offered by the Texans, who were unable to sign him to a long-term contract by the tag’s July 15 deadline. But it’s nonetheless been a busy few days for Clowney, who:...

Keon Broxton Earns Ejection With Badass Long-Distance No-Look Glove Slap
I prefer to live in a world where the action that got Keon Broxton ejected from Monday night’s Yankees-Mariners game was 100 percent intentional. What’s more, I prefer to live in a world where Broxton becomes the Homer Simpson of the no-look glove-slap, and goes around flinging gloves across the fac...

Sunday's <i>El Tráfico</i> Between LAFC And The LA Galaxy Was MLS At Its Very Best
Four goals in the first 16 minutes. A Zlatan brace. Carlos Vela yelling at his manager. The fifth edition of El Tráfico, the Los Angeles Derby between LAFC and the Galaxy that capped off MLS’s Rivalry Week on Sunday night, wasn’t just the best game of the season—it was an example of what MLS can be ...

Worst Foods To Barf, Ranked
I know what you’re thinking: Barfing is bad! All foods are bad to vomit! This is true, but some foods are way worse to puke up than, say, saltine crackers. These are those foods, plus a few liquids that are also bad to throw up....

The NBA Tries To Make Its Luke Walton Problem Go Away
It’s Friday afternoon, that time when every American sports league dumps the news it would rather you not see. Today, that meant the NBA announced the results of the league’s investigation into sexual assault allegations against Sacramento Kings coach Luke Walton. ...

The New XFL Team Names And Logos Are Something Worse Than Bad
The second, flaghumpinger incarnation of the XFL is, it appears, truly actually happening next spring. Landry Jones is in and the league has real teams and everything! Unfortunately, these are those teams....

Why Your Team Sucks 2019: Houston Texans
Some people are fans of the Houston Texans. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Houston Texans. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....

Estadio Azteca Vows To Take Action Against Vendors Caught Watering Down Beers
The owners of Mexico City’s Estadio Azteca—the most famous and intimidating soccer venue in North America—announced that they have removed offending vendors, and has promised to take legal action, after beer-sellers in the stadium were caught watering down their product during a Club America win on ...

Which Flavor Of White Claw Hard Seltzer Is Best (At Football)?
This past weekend, I stopped by the little beer-and-wine store near my local supermarket and picked up a 12-can variety pack of White Claw–brand fruit-flavored “hard seltzer.” At the checkout counter, I had two options: A hip-looking 20-something dude with a beard and some kind of bunlike thing goin...

Tremendous Goalkeeping Boner Leads To Late Equalizing Own Goal
Despite having a man sent off just six minutes into the match, LA Galaxy found themselves clinging onto a 2-1 lead over the Seattle Sounders on Saturday in the final 10 minutes of regulation. In one of their many attempts forward, the Sounders launched a long ball with the hopes that forward Jordan ...

Bill Walton Learned How To Enjoy Baseball In Real Time
On the 50th anniversary of Woodstock, former NBA superstar Bill Walton made his way into the broadcast booth of NBC Sports Chicago to be the color commentator for a White Sox-Angels game. Walton was his usual self whenever he spoke, taking quantum leaps from topic to topic as he transitioned between...

Rex Ryan Is Still Thinking About Those Feeties
Rex Ryan loves feet—specifically his wife’s feet, and we have all known this for years and years. What’s inspiring about Ryan is not that he has an admiration for feet, but that he is extremely comfortable with the entire world having knowledge of that admiration....

Report: MLS Will Expand To St. Louis, Might Not Completely Fleece The City For A Stadium
Congratulations, St. Louis! According to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, the city has successfully thrown enough money around and greased the right wheels to win economic promotion to MLS!...

The Skins Have The Amazing Ability To Complicate And Worsen Any Injury To Their Players
Colt McCoy was the presumptive favorite to earn the not-especially-coveted starting quarterback job in Washington during training camp. That race appears to be up in the air today, after head coach Jay Gruden announced Wednesday that McCoy will miss Thursday night’s exhibition against the Bengals, w...

Alexi Lalas Should Think Less
Wouldn’t you know it! Alexi Lalas, the guy who said, “Damn right, I’m gonna stand,” and implied that players kneeling during the national anthem to protest racial inequality would be the same as a player wearing a MAGA hat during the national anthem, has more half-baked political takes....

Curt Schilling Once Again Threatens To Run For Office
Curt Schilling, former major-league pitcher and World Series hero who squandered away so much goodwill that the Red Sox no longer want anything to do with him, has for the umpteenth time floated the idea of running for office. What makes this time different is that Donald Trump gave him a signal boo...

My Whole Life Worth Less Than Crap Stolen From Alex Rodriguez's Rental Car
Alex Rodriguez has many things that I will never have. A career .930 OPS. A job on television. A cake with crystals on it from Jennifer Lopez. A gigantic two-way glass window next to his crappin’ toilet, situated prominently in one of the busiest cities in the Western hemisphere. Some of the many fi...

Former Ohio State Coach Sentenced To Four Years In Prison For Sexually Abusing Underage Diver
Former Ohio State diving coach William Bohonyi was sentenced to four years in prison on Monday on two counts of sexually abusing Estee Pryor, a diver who trained with the Ohio State University Diving Club when she was underage....

Brittney Griner Ejected After Chasing Wings' Kristine Anigwe Down The Court
Phoenix Mercury center Brittney Griner was one of six players ejected from her team’s game against the Dallas Wings on Saturday. The ejections occurred when after Griner took exception to getting punched in the head while going for a rebound and began to chase Dallas’ Kristine Anigwe—the puncher in ...