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Every USWNT Goal Against Thailand, Ranked
If you haven’t heard, the United States puréed Thailand by a score of 13-0 in their 2019 Women’s World Cup opening match today. You don’t score 13 goals without at least some of them being nice, so here’s an objectively correct ranking of every goal:...
Every Team In The 2019 Women's World Cup
Players to watch, dark horses, upset opportunities, and everything else you need to know for the 2019 Women’s World Cup in France....
Is There Artistic Merit In This Painting Of A-Rod Sitting On His Toilet? An Investigation
The picture of former Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez sitting on his expensive, curtain-less Manhattan loo has become such a powerful cultural image that a tipster sent us a painting of it....
Twenty Years Ago, Bobby Valentine Snuck Back Into The Dugout And Woke Up The Mets
This is an excerpt from Matthew Callan’s book Yells For Ourselves: A Story Of New York City And The New York Mets At The Dawn Of The New Millennium....
![Reports: David Ortiz Hospitalized After Being Shot In Dominican Republic Robbery Attempt [Updating]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/wehbp8xhnflbd1ilrhdh.jpg)
Reports: David Ortiz Hospitalized After Being Shot In Dominican Republic Robbery Attempt [Updating]
According to multiple reports, retired Red Sox slugger and former World Series MVP David Ortiz was hospitalized with a gunshot wound in the Dominican Republic Sunday evening. Enrique Rojas of ESPN reportedly heard directly from Ortiz’s father that Ortiz was shot “in an amusement center” in Santo Dom...
Madison Bumgarner Gets Roasted To Hell By Max Muncy For Playing Dinger Cop
Madison Bumgarner is a good pitcher and a marvelous baseball player, but what he also is is a great big diaper baby. Few pitchers in all of baseball are as likely as Bumgarner to express their sensitivity to the humiliation of allowing a home run by shouting unwritten code commands at triumphant bat...
Eloy Jiménez Blammo'd This Baseball Out Of Existence
In the top of the second inning of today’s game between the White Sox and Royals, White Sox outfielder Eloy Jiménez latched onto a hanging curveball at the top of the zone. It didn’t even look like he put that hard of a swing on the ball, but then it just... kept... going... and going:...
Afghanistan Soccer Head Banned For Life For Sexually Abusing Women's National Team Players
FIFA’s ethics committee has found Keramuudin Karim, former President of the Afghanistan Football Federation, guilty of sexually and physically abusing multiple members of the women’s national team. Karim is now banned for life from all international and national soccer activities, and was fined the ...
Bill O'Brien's Going To Get His Way In Houston No Matter How Many GMs It Takes
From the outside, it sure looked like Brian Gaine was doing a good job. When he was hired as Texans GM in January of 2018, the Texans’ roster was so expensive and such a mess that they were giving away draft picks just to get rid of some of their worst contracts. Despite that, he signed Tyrann Mathi...
The Neymar Rape Case Has Turned Into A Huge Mess
Last Saturday, news broke that a Brazilian woman had filed a police report in which she said soccer superstar Neymar raped her in a Paris hotel last month. Today, Neymar testified in court about a different but related criminal charge he faces because of the intimate photos of the alleged victim he ...
Max Kepler Kept Calling Trevor Bauer's Bluff
Twins outfielder Max Kepler was fantastic in Thursday’s 5-4 win over Cleveland as he went 4-for-4 with three home runs and a walk. There are two ways to look at this performance, and they’re not mutually exclusive. You could say that Kepler had a hell of a night, and you could say that opposing pitc...
Umpire Mike Everitt Leaves Game After Taking 95-MPH Fastball To The Chest
Umpire Mike Everitt was working home plate in the bottom of the third inning of Tuesday night’s White Sox-Nationals game when a 95-mph fastball from Reynaldo López somehow missed both Trea Turner’s bat and catcher James McCann’s glove and smashed directly into his breast pocket, obliterating the pen...
Adrien Broner Sued Over 2018 Sexual Assault Incident, No, Not That One, Another One
Welterweight boxer and all-around shitheel Adrien Broner is being sued in Ohio by a woman he sexually assaulted in a club in Cleveland in June 2018. For those keeping score at home, this is at least the second incident from the first half of 2018 where Broner was arrested for allegedly attacking and...
Texas High School Referee Who Was Very Racist On A Phone Call Defends Himself As A "Jokester" Who Watches BET
The Texas Association of Sports Officials has suspended a longtime high school football referee for the 2019 season after audio surfaced of him being racist on a phone call. We’re talking “hard-R” racist....
Alex Rodriguez Considers Crapping Out Of View
Earlier this month a photo of Alex Rodriguez taking a crap in his well-appointed bathroom made its way around the internet. The photo was snapped from a building adjacent to A-Rod’s home, which for some reason features a bathroom with a giant glass window facing out to the street. A-Rod is now consi...
Should WWE Actually Be Worried About AEW?
There’s panic in the streets of Stamford, Connecticut. Or, anyway, there’s a sense that change is coming for the famously change-averse WWE after a ten-day period that could signal the start of a new era in professional wrestling. All it took to rattle WWE was for a new promotion—in this case, All E...
Zlatan Assists Zlatan For A Typically Stupendous Zlatan Bicycle Kick Goal
Zlatan Ibrahimović has been consistently Zlataning since coming to MLS, scoring 32 goals in 38 games, but it’s been a while since his last truly memorable Zlatan moment. Possibly in recognition of this relative drought, Zlatan pulled off a spectacular Zlatan on Sunday, with a Zlatan-y sequence of sk...
Nobody Tells Max Scherzer To Leave The Mound Except Max Scherzer
After throwing 117 pitches and striking out 14 batters, Max Scherzer did not feel like he was ready to leave Sunday’s game against the Reds. He made those feelings known to Nationals manager Dave Martinez, who tried to take out his streaking ace in the bottom of the eighth right as Joey Votto got to...
Twins' Byron Buxton Throws An Absolute Laser To Make A 300-Foot Double Play Look Easy
It’s already been well established on this site that Twins outfielder Byron Buxton is fast as hell when it comes to running the bases. But what hasn’t been talked about enough is that he’s also one of the best fielders in baseball with one of the best arms on one of the best teams in baseball right ...
Neymar Denies Rape Accusation, Releases Texts And Nude Photos Sent Between Him And Alleged Victim
Hours after allegations that Neymar raped a Brazilian woman in Paris came to light, the soccer superstar posted a video on social media in which he denied the accusations and claimed that the woman had tried to extort him....