x Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
De'Aaron Fox Dunks On Nikola Vucevic, Gives Him A Rude But Sensible Warning
De’Aaron Fox scored the bulk of his team-leading 20 points against the Magic Monday night by simply grabbing the ball away from his man and running down to his hoop for layups on the break. He does this all the time, and his considerable athletic advantage over D.J. Augustin was such that he didn’t ...
The Next Step For Elite Gymnasts Is To Form A Union
At the beginning of November, the USOC announced that it was taking the first step towards decertifying USA Gymnastics. This was a direct if belated response to the national governing body having spent two years repeatedly failing in virtually every facet related to the Larry Nassar sex abuse scanda...
Steve Smith, Who Showboated While Losing, Chides Deshaun Watson For Showboating While Losing
Steve Smith has made his transition from cantankerous NFL player to cantankerous NFL pundit, and over the weekend he treated Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson the way he used to treat opposing defensive backs....
The Colts' Rookies Blocked The Texans' Stars Straight Into Hell
Jadeveon Clowney is one of the most talented athletes in all of American sports. Here’s Colts rookie guard Quenton Nelson stopping him cold and then backing him up two full yards before tossing him to the ground: ...
The Houston Texans Are Pure Frauds, No Matter Who's Playing Quarterback
Two interminable streaks were on the line today in Houston: the Texans’ unbroken history of playoff humiliations, and Deshaun Watson not having lost a game by more than one score since high school. The fragrance of ass that exudes from the Texans and Bill O’Brien was more powerful by far, as the Col...
This Is The Only Way The Texans Can Stop The Colts From Scoring
The Colts have a 21-0 lead and a ridiculous 20 first downs at halftime against the Texans, and it would likely be 35-0 if not for two plays. ...
Derrick Rose’s Bullshit Redemption Story Might Make Him An All-Star
Every year, the NBA releases the first round of All-Star Game fan voting as a way to drum up excitement for its yearly showcase of the best players in the league. This season’s first batch of voting holds few surprises; among the top vote-getters are LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Steph Curry, and... ...
Alex Ovechkin Just Doesn't Stop
Somewhere along the way, Alex Ovechkin went from “holy shit, that guy can score” to “holy shit, that guy can still score” without even a hint of a drop-off in between. He’s 33 years old now, which is generally well past a forward’s prime, and it just doesn’t seem to matter. The only real difference ...
Roof Stunt With "Epic Sax Gorilla" Costs Minor League Baseball Team Thousands Of Dollars In Fines
This past June, the Tacoma Rainiers brought reindeer mascot Rhubarb and local icon “Epic Sax Gorilla” up onto the roof of Cheney Stadium, where the Triple-A club plays, for a routine crowd-pleasing stunt. Also up on the roof was Tacoma News Tribune columnist Matt Driscoll, who recently explained how...
Texas Handler On Mad Bevo Attack: "He Was Just Going To Say Hi"
Texas defeated Georgia in the Sugar Bowl 28-21 on Tuesday night, likely thanks in large part to the intimidation provided by their mascot, a 1,600-pound steer named Bevo, against Georgia’s mascot, a 62-pound English bulldog named Uga....
Dallas Stars CEO Takes A Heaping Dump On His Team's Most Prominent Players
The Dallas Stars are currently eighth in the NHL’s Western Conference, and are narrowly holding onto the second Wild Card spot. But they’re just 4–8 over their last 12 games, and stars Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are ranked 57th and 67th in the league in scoring, respectively. Apparently, disappoint...
Please Stop Using Baseball To Describe Football
A home run has never happened in a football game, and yet home runs can be found all over writing about the sport, mainly when it comes to transactions. A new coach is a “home-run hire.” Wow! A team “hit a home run” with its draft picks. Okay!...
Andrei Vasilevskiy Was Bug-Eyed With Disbelief At His Own Save
It was maybe not a game you’d have expected much excitement from. The Lightning lead the entire rest of the NHL, by a healthy margin, and haven’t lost in regulation since November. The Flyers, on the other hand, are scraping the bottom of the East and have already canned their coach and GM. But a mi...
Dexter Lawrence Probably Should Have Skipped The Cotton Bowl
In the span of a week, Clemson defensive tackle Dexter Lawrence had a drug test come back positive for an anabolic steroid not approved for human use or consumption in the U.S., or in any other country, vehemently denied in front of reporters that he knowingly put anything illegal into his body, and...
A Transformer Exploded In New York And The Videos Rule Extremely Hard
I am told this spectacular light show over New York City tonight was caused by a transformer explosion at a power station in Queens, and not by a massive meteor burning up in the atmosphere, nor by slimy space aliens parking their city-sized mothership over the city and preparing the invasion. One t...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
UFC Welterweight Alex Oliveira Blown Up By Grenade On Christmas Eve, Is Fine
UFC welterweight Alex Oliveira went home to Tres Rios, south of Rio de Janeiro, to spend Christmas with family. There he was involved in a Christmas Eve altercation at a gas station, involving machetes and guns and an exploding grenade that lodged a handful of shrapnel in his lower leg, requiring su...
<i>A Christmas Story</i> Subplots, Ranked
Christmas feels incomplete without at least four-to-six partial viewings of A Christmas Story, Bob Clark’s 1983 movie based on Jean Shepherd’s semi-autobiographical stories. By now, if you have a heart, you’ve seen each segment and running subplot dozens of times. But which are the best? And which a...
Texas High School Football Title Game Ends With A Pretty Sweet Hail Mary
This Texas high school football highlight is from Saturday, but it ages well. Galena Park North Shore defeated Duncanville, 41-36, in the Class 6A Division I final after Dematrius Davis connected with A.J. Carter on a 45-yard Hail Mary as time expired....
The Texans Lost, But At Least We Got To See This Amazing Deshaun Watson Escape Play
Down six with just over four minutes left in regulation, the Texans were marching down the field with the intention of scoring a touchdown and taking the lead. On the fifth play of the drive, Deshaun Watson faced a third-and-11 on Houston’s 44-yard line and needed to convert to keep things going. Hi...