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How To Manage Hypochondriasis
I am a hypochondriac, which is to say I’m constantly and acutely obsessed with the idea that I’m suffering from, or I’m about to be diagnosed with, a serious medical condition. For as long as I can recall—I was born in 1985, and so possess at least somewhat vivid memories dating back to late ’89, ea...

Mookie Betts Drove A Golf Cart Right Into A Lake
Red Sox center fielder Mookie Betts is an adept baseball man, as well as an extremely skilled bowler. What he’s not good at is driving a golf cart, apparently. He and Travis Shaw went golfing this afternoon, and they got a bit more amphibious than they wanted to....

Jay Bilas Jinxes Buddy Hield, Kansas Takes Down Oklahoma Again
If you’re not a superstitious person, or you don’t believe in the basketball gods, this here’s a good argument for conversion. ...

An Injured Chicharito Is Truthering Bundesliga Highlights
Javier Hernández is tearing up the Bundesliga in his first campaign with Bayer Leverkusen. The Mexican striker is fourth in the league with 13 goals, and first among non-Dortmund/Bayern players. Unfortunately, he’s now going to miss a few weeks after he tore a muscle in his ass (or his Gesäßmuskel, ...

Texas AG: Baylor Cops Can Withhold Five Reports Related To Sexual Assaults
As part of her investigation into how Baylor didn’t fully investigate reports of sexual violence involving football players, ESPN’s Paula Lavgine requested reports from Baylor police. The department refused to release any and their refusal was then forwarded to the Attorney General’s Office in Texas...

Alex Ovechkin Had A Hat Trick In One Period
The Washington Capitals are the first NHL team to get 40 wins this season, after a 4-3 win over the slumping Minnesota Wild Thursday night. Alex Ovechkin was the reason why....

Markieff Morris And Archie Goodwin Fight On The Suns Bench
Phoenix Suns teammates Markieff Morris and Archie Goodwin got into a screaming and shoving match on the bench during the first quarter of tonight’s game against the Golden State Warriors. The fight, which happened during a timeout, didn’t seem to be captured by either the Suns’ or the Warriors’ broa...

Evander Kane And Alex Petrovic Fought Three Times In One Game
Sabres winger Evander Kane and Panthers defenseman Alex Petrovic dropped the gloves three times in Tuesday’s game. The two fought twice in the second period and once in the third....

Two French Soccer Ladies Hash Out Their Differences By Brawling On The Field
What inspired Maude Perchey of Rouen and Bordeaux’s Eva Sumo to cease competing against one another within the strictures of soccer’s rule book and instead elect to get into some gangsta shit, we don’t know. What we do know is that Perchey throws punches like she’s trying to decapitate her opponent,...

Lawsuit: University of Tennessee Had “Deliberate Indifference” Toward Sexual Assaults By Athletes
Six unnamed women sued the University of Tennessee in federal court Tuesday, alleging numerous Title IX violations by the school, an adjudication process heinously biased against victims, and a pattern of sexual assault by male athletes....

Lawsuit: Kent State Helped Cover Up Rape By Softball Coach's Son
A former Kent State softball player is suing the university and its former softball coach, Karen Linder, accusing Linder of pressuring the player to cover up her rape allegation against the coach’s son. When Lauren Kesterson did report the rape, Linder resigned but used her influence among former an...

Baylor Has Mastered The Art Of Doing Nothing About Campus Rape
There is a growing mountain of evidence suggesting that Baylor University does not give a fuck about investigating rapes, especially but not limited to those committed by football players. First, it was Sam Ukwuachu and the university’s lackadaisical at best Title IX investigation into allegations t...

Bad Internet Comments Are The Best Thing In The World
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Sources: Fox Sports Bosses Wanted Colleen Dominguez To Get Erin Andrews Makeover, Facelift
This past December, Colleen Dominguez filed an age and gender discrimination lawsuit against Fox Sports 1. In the complaint, Dominguez, who came to the network in 2014 as a sideline and features reporter after a long run at ESPN, alleged that all the choice assignments were given to younger reporter...

FS1 Host Dan O’Toole Blasts Fox Sports For Layoffs
Somewhere along the line, Fox realized that Fox Sports 1 can’t (and maybe shouldn’t) compete with ESPN at its own game, and instead decided to court that silent-but-significant minority of sports fans: reactionary, regressive, and crypto- and not-so-crypto-racist. For a hundred years or more, this w...

Why Is The NFL Giving More Super Bowl Ad Time To Its Favorite Sham Domestic-Violence Group?
I took the No More pledge last year. What do I have to show for it? I’m now very aware of when #NOMOREexcuses Law & Order: Special Victims Unit marathons are about to air, but that’s about it. I don’t know much more about domestic violence or sexual assault. I haven’t discovered new organizations wo...

World's Best Cycling Team Disinvited From Tour Of Qatar Because They Take Too Long To Change
Riders from Etixx-Quickstep have won eight of the past 10 Tours of Qatar. The race’s crosswinds and wide roads are perfect for the classics-focused squad, and they’ve cleaned up. But they won’t be going this year, because the race’s owners are unhappy with their costume changes....

This Is Not Even Surprising, Really
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Chinese Runners Allegedly Revealed State-Sponsored Doping In 1995, IAAF Suspicious
In 1993, the Chinese women’s track team ran crazy; they set insane world records, times so fast, over such a range of distances with almost no recovery in between that, well, they were widely believed to be dirty. The women themselves admitted doping in 1995, but we’re just seeing the evidence now. ...

This Photo Of John Wall Will Probably Get More Viewers Than Colin Cowherd's TV Show
Last week, Sports Illustrated reported network Fox Sports 1 is ending Fox Sports Live as we know it, after the would-be SportsCenter competitor helmed by popular Canadian anchors Jay Onrait and Dan O’Toole failed to live up to its lofty projections. Its viewership was never particularly commanding, ...