x Page 626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Try To Surprise Adrian Beltre With A Beverage Shower Or He'll Fight You With A Broom
If you try to touch Adrian Beltre’s head, he’ll flip out. If you try to douse him in one or more jugs of celebratory post-game beverage, he’ll mount up, grab weapons, and ward you off with them....
Shaunae Miller Beats Allyson Felix In The 400m Final With A Last-Gasp Dive Across The Line
Allyson Felix lost the 400-meter final by just seven agonizing hundredths of a second, after Bahamanian runner Shaunae Miller dove right at the finish line to hold off Felix’s charge from behind. The 30-year-old Felix came into the final stretch well behind Miller, but managed to almost run her down...
No, BBC, That Is Not A Cake
The Yankees held a storm-shortened ceremony last night before pushing A-Rod out the door, and as the heavens opened up they thrust a base into his arms that had been signed by Rodriguez’s teammates. A-Rod’s retirement being a major international sports story, it earned coverage from the likes of the...
Florida Gators' Top Receiver Cleared In Sexual Assault Case Adjudicated By Booster
Last Friday, it was revealed the University of Florida would allow Jake Schickel, a Jacksonville lawyer and UF football booster, to serve as the third-party counsel for the Title IX sexual assault case being heard against wide receivers Treon Harris and Antonio Callaway. Today, Callaway was cleared ...
How Simone Biles Broke Gymnastics
The following is excerpted from The End of the Perfect 10: The Making and Breaking of Gymnastics’ Top Score—from Nadia to Now by Dvora Meyers, available now from from Touchstone Books....
Fitness Enthusiasts' Insufferability, Ranked<em></em>
Getting exercise is good, allegedly, and there are good and bad people who enjoy every form of exercise. Some forms of exercise, however, collect far more bad, obnoxious, horrible, insufferable people than others. These are those forms....
Report: Las Vegas NHL Team Will Be Boringly Named After Some Kind Of Hawk, Or Some Other Kind Of Hawk (IMPORTANT ORNITHOLOGICAL CORRECTION)
The Las Vegas NHL expansion team, set to begin play in 2017, still needs a name. Owner Bill Foley wanted “Black Knights;” West Point wasn’t cool with that. So Foley’s got some other ideas, and they’re varying degrees of uncreative....
Lawsuit: Kansas "Encouraged" Rowers Raped By Football Player To Cheer At Games
Kansas is currently being sued by two former rowers who say they were raped by the same football player. The player was investigated and expelled, but in their lawsuits both women say the university still violated Title IX in many ways. They claim that they suffered retaliation from the rowing coach...
Counterpoint: Dying Is (Probably) Okay
My smart colleague George Dvorsky over at Gizmodo published a defense of “radical life extension” this morning. This is a largely pseudo- or quasi-scientific pursuit favored by billionaire parasite Peter Thiel (among others), based upon the idea that, essentially, death is a pathology rather than a ...
Prince Fielder's Retirement Press Conference Was Sad As Hell
Rangers slugger Prince Fielder has been forced to retire from baseball at age 32. Fielder, who has been struggling at the plate this year, recently underwent his second spinal fusion surgery in the last three years, and doctors have told him that he is no longer physically capable of playing basebal...
Alex Rodriguez Gets No Love From Joe Girardi, Helps The Yankees Win Anyway
After Alex Rodriguez’s Sunday announcement that he would retire following Friday’s game, Yankees manager Joe Girardi made it sound like Rodriguez would get to go out on at least some of his terms—that is, swinging. Except Girardi didn’t play Rodriguez on Sunday. Or on Tuesday. Or start him last nigh...
Alex Rodriguez Was Big Enough To Take All The Blame
It’s obvious where this begins: Thirteen years ago, at baseball’s annual winter meetings, the entire story was Alex Rodriguez and when and where he would be going. The Texas Rangers, who’d averaged 90 losses in three seasons with Rodriguez at shortstop, had made clear that they wanted out from under...
Steve Martin Is My Body Icon
I assume that there is an amount of working out, tanning, waxing, and grooming I could do in order to be a moderately more handsome person. I have no interest in doing this. My body icon isn’t a Hemsworth or a Tyrese. It’s Steve Martin, who has mastered the art of looking like the same person for as...
Remember When Prince Fielder Slapped An Inside-The-Park Home Run?
According to Ken Rosenthal, the Rangers will announce tomorrow that Prince Fielder is going to retire. Fielder had neck surgery a few weeks ago, and it’s apparently going to keep him from playing again. He will retire with 319 dingers, exactly the same amount as his father Cecil had in his career....
Philippine Senator And Bad Person Manny Pacquiao Wants To Execute Drug Dealers
Manny Pacquiao’s boxing career is ostensibly finished, which means he has more time to spend fulfilling his duties as an elected senator in his home country of the Philippines. This is bad news for Philippine citizens, because it’s never good when a nutjob holds a political office....
Red Sox Cancel Giveaway Due To "Unacceptable" David Ortiz Bobblehead<em></em>
The Boston Red Sox were set to hand out David Ortiz bobbleheads for tonight’s game, but the finished product wasn’t up to par. The team announced today that the bobbleheads were “not appropriate for distribution,” and the giveaway was canceled....
I Freakin' Love SoulCycle, Okay?
Confession: I like SoulCycle. More than “like,” even. I love it. ...
Olympic Officials Apologize For Using Knock-Off Chinese Flags In Medal Ceremony
After Ginny Thrasher won the first gold medal of the Rio Olympics over Du Li and Yi Siling of China, Olympic officials raised incorrect Chinese flags to the rafter during the medal ceremony. See those flags up there? Notice any differences between them and the real Chinese flag below? ...
The Paul Pogba Transfer Is Finally Happening
For at least a month, it has been clear that Juventus star Paul Pogba would be transferring to Manchester United, with the only question being how much money it would take. But while Pogba spent his post-Euro summer dicking around, the rumor mill went into overdrive: that Pogba would stay, that Real...
Sobbing A-Rod Announces The Yankees Are Ending His Career<em></em><em></em>
The New York Yankees called a press conference this morning to announce that Alex Rodriguez’s career as a Yankee will end next week. His final game will be on Friday against the Rays, after which the Yankees will release him, and he will retire and become a “special advisor and instructor” to the cl...