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What Is The Best Fruit For Committing Murder?

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering sex tapes, traffic lights, bats and more. ...

College ShameDay: What Is The Heart Of Dallas? How Long Can Pat Fitzgerald Hold A Car Above His Head? Your New Year's Day Bowl Games FAQ

Our weekly college football shame index previews the New Year's Day bowl games. ...

Trindon Holliday Is 16-0

The NFL's shortest player is also its winningest. Return specialist Trindon Holliday just completed a perfect regular season, 5-0 with Houston, 11-0 with Denver, and he joins an exclusive club featuring the rosters of the 1972 Dolphins and the 2007 Patriots. If the Broncos go all the way, Holliday w...

Dancing, Yawning, And Picking Our Noses Into The Sunset: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup [UPDATE]

We'll be putting all our GIFs for the day here, from every last person in the league—coaches, players, mascots—breaking out that one dance move they've been saving up all year, to a referee in New Orleans thinking he could pick his nose because no one was watching. We'll update the post as the late...

Venezuelan MLB Players Spend More Time Worrying About Being Kidnapped Than Most Professional Athletes

Becoming a professional baseball player should mean you're pretty much set, right? Forget the odds that a fringe (or star) professional athlete will go broke before he's a certain age—if you spend much of your twenties and thirties making millions or near millions of dollars for playing a game, you'...

Video Of The Alamo Bowl's Idiot On The Field, Who Was Not Mack Brown

Last night we sent out a tweet asking for video of the kid—then just a rumor—that allegedly came out on to the field at the Alamodome, during the Alamo Bowl, and, we heard, "ran out of the stands from behind the Texas end zone, was at midfield before anyone really saw him and was in the other end ...

33 Bowl Games Ranked As If They Were Dishes

The custom of calling post-season collegiate contests "bowl" games stems from the granddaddy of them all, the Rose Bowl, so-called for the eponymous bowl-shaped stadium. But our first association with the word "bowl" of course is as a container, most often for food, keys, change, or cereal milk and ...

The 15 Most Surreal Moments From 2012's Sports-Related Next Media Animation Videos

Next Media Animation, the Taiwanese animation company that produces short cartoons recapping the news of the day, has its best muse in sports, where the lines between good and evil lend themselves to pictures of angry video game characters, and events are just cartoonish enough to spark the overact...

Chris Ault, Creator Of The Pistol Offense, Will Leave Nevada After 28 Years

Chris Ault, the innovator behind the pistol offense and long, long-time head coach of Nevada Wolf Pack football, is officially stepping down after 28 (non-consecutive) years. In that time, Ault recorded some impressive statistics, including only two losing seasons in his tenure, and 27 seasons of o...

Deadspin's Top 10 Movies Of 2012

For many years, prior to the Oscar nominations, the boy from Mattoon and his friend Tim put on their Ebert t-shirts and run down their personal best movies of the year. It's cute. Sometimes I chime in. My list is below....

The 25 Sexiest "Sexiest Athlete" Slideshows From Bleacher Report In 2012: A Slideshow

It's been a hell of a year for the sexy ladies of sports. To celebrate, let's look back with a gallery of Bleacher Report's 25 sexiest "sexiest athlete" galleries from featured columnist Thomas Delatte, who's done more than his fair share for one of the most successful sports websites in the world. ...

Rex Ryan cries, is "mad as a hornet." The Jets dumpster fire is an eternal flame....

Here Is The Police Report For The Sexual Assault Allegation Against Two University Of Texas Football Players

There have been no arrests, and the subjects of the investigation have not been identified by police, but Mack Brown has suspended quarterback Case McCoy and linebacker Jordan Hicks for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State, according to what sources told 247 Sports' Bobby Burton. Brown sa...

Don't Be Terrible, Be Good, And Win: How To Pitch, According To Fox Game Of The Week Scouting Reports

Originally published in Baseball Prospectus....

Do You Have To Be Physically Fit To Drive A Race Car?

You know what question I get asked most as a racecar driver? No, not, "Do you get scared?" and, amazingly, not even, "How fast does your car go?" The most commonly asked question is, "Why do you have to be fit to drive a racecar? All you do is sit down and turn a wheel?"...

Everything You Need To Know About New Browns Quarterback Thad "The Champ" Lewis

Per Mary Kay Cabot, Browns head coach until Monday Pat Shurmur announced today that third-string quarterback Thad Lewis would start against the Steelers in Week 17, as Brandon Weeden and Colt McCoy are terrible "dealing with injuries." Lewis will be the Browns' 18th starting quarterback since 1999,...

Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]

The players have neither been arrested nor charged with a crime, and police have not released their names. An investigation is taking place, but here are the details from KENS in San Antonio, where the Longhorns are staying as they prepare for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State:...

Alex Rodriguez Has Given Himself A New Nickname, So Everyone Be Sure To Call Him That

Say hello to Captain Rodriguez. A-Rod has been spending the holidays in Florida with his family (and Torrie Wilson), and he's documenting it all on his Facebook page. He put this photo up yesterday, but quickly deleted it. Maybe because the Yankees already have a captain, or maybe because he realize...

Report: The Detroit Red Wings Are Tax Delinquents

The city of Detroit is a fiscal disaster. Its bond rating was downgraded to an even lower junk status last month, it's looking at the prospect of having its finances taken over by the state next year, and layoffs of city workers seem unavoidable. Mayor Dave Bing—yes, that Dave Bing—has promised to c...

Sean Elliott Is Hogging All Of San Antonio's Water

San Antonio has been dealing with a harsh Texas drought for the past two years, and the available water resources are dwindling. As a site that has dealt with pressing water bill issues in the past, we at Deadspin feel obligated to tell you that Spurs color commentator—and former player—Sean Elliot...