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You're Not As Cool During A Hookup As You Think You Are
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Watch An Agile Woman Juggle Five Balls With Her Hands And Feet
In this video that's titled "Selyna Bogino doing the 5 balls longest routine ever! XD," Italian acrobat Selyna Bogino apparently does the 5 balls longer than anybody — woman or man — has done it before....

Stories Like This Confirm That Cleveland Needs Carl Monday Now More Than Ever
"A Cuyahoga County sheriff's deputy was charged today with menacing and public indecency stemming from two summer incidents in the Cleveland Metroparks' Rocky River Reservation. Paul Lawrence, 32, is accused of masturbating in his car on June 12 and following two women on Aug. 29, a day he had call...

Josh Hamilton Cost An Insurance Company $500K Last Night
If you tried to check out CC Carpet Flooring and Design Center's offerings online today, you would have read this message: "Our website is currently overloaded due to GRAND SLAM activity! We apologize for the inconvenience, please try again later."...

Vladimir Putin Is Manly Sportsman Of Sport
Every few months, ubermensch Vladimir Putin is strategically caught on camera engaged in the type of muscular activity that would induce brain clotting in lesser humans. Putin wrassles a bear. Putin hurls a weakling to the earth with an uchi mata. Putin shoots a whale with a crossbow (no, seriously)...

Here's An Actual Sport That Requires Nothing More Than Holding A Beer
No, really. That's it. And it's called Masskrugstemmen. "The game is far more popular in Germany, where it is played in beer halls and outdoor festivals. Contestants line up, extend one arm parallel to the ground, grip a one-liter beer, and try not to spill. Drop any brew, and you're eliminated." [...

You Can Now Buy The Amarillo Sox Mascot That Had A Huge Erection
The Amarillo Sox Sock had one priapic night in the spotlight, before being consigned to the bottom of the hamper of history. Now the independent league Sox are auctioning off the outfit, presumably for use in sex pervert games, with all proceeds going to charity. [eBay]...

Former Heavyweight Boxing Champ Hunts Yeti, Finds Self
This just in from remote Siberia: a giant hairy creature has been sighted gamboling about the mountains in the Kemerovo Region. The creature is, surprisingly, not Nikolai Valuev (above, left). It is, rather, the Kuzbass Bigfoot and it has been spotted several times near the Azass Cave of Mount Shori...

Can I Call You Back Later? There's A Foul Ball Screaming Toward My Head
This is the greatest catch, and no one seems to care. Where are the ovations? The panegyrics? Where is even the slightest acknowledgement from the announcers or the Texas crowd that this guy made a snap grab on a sharp line drive, without stirring or interrupting his phone conversation? Maybe it's...

Watch A Mom Jump Into A Fist Fight Between Her Daughter And Another 12-Year-Old Girl (NSFW)
"The Long Island woman arrested on charges she encouraged two 12-year-old girls, one of them her own daughter, to fight outside a local school is speaking out, saying she allowed the fight to protect her daughter....

Here Are Eight Mugshots Of Amish Guys With Odd Hair And Beards
Pictured here are "eight members of an Amish sect who were ordered jailed by a Kentucky judge after they refused to pay fines for failing to affix orange safety triangles to their horse-drawn buggies."...

Sadly, There Isn't Video Of Those Prison Guards Who Stabbed And Maced People At The Albuquerque Hooters
Per the KRQE report on shenanigans breaking out during Monday night's Broncos/Raiders game at an Albuquerque Hooters, police really don't know "what specifically set the brawl off." But that doesn't mean there are a lack of details about it....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Blistering Jerry Jones Take Down
You should have heard the excitement in Chad McGhee's tone during the weekly call. It was unparalleled in football analytica. Such is what one would expect when the mighty Knox City Greyhounds got off the schneid with a 47-0 victory over the Rule Bulldogs....

This 2008 CBS News Sarah Palin Campaign Headline Now Has A Whole New Meaning, Doesn't It?
Oh, sure. The original story was about her qualms with the McCain camp's decision a month before the election not to campaign actively in Michigan. But now that Seth Davis has called everyone's attention to it again, let's all completely reconsider its thrust....

Here's Sarah Palin Reporting On Glen Rice's Michigan Team Three Months After They Allegedly Humped
Just about three months after her alleged one-night stand with Michigan star player Glen Rice, Sarah Palin (then Sarah Heath) reported on a Wolverines game for Anchorage's KTUU-TV. In the clip above, she's reporting on Michigan's 80-67 loss to Purdue on March 3, 1988, in which clinched the Big Ten...

Alexandre Pato And Leo Messi Create Some Great Goals As AC Milan And Barcelona Kick Off The Champions League Season
Cracker of a match yesterday between AC Milan and Barcelona. Alexandre Pato turned on some otherworldly speed to score for MIlan just 24 seconds after kickoff (above). Then it was Leo Messi's turn (below, with other highlights). How Messi gets in that centering pass to Pedro for the Barcelona equa...

SprtsCntr: Milestones For The Boston, New York, And Philly Teams You Never, Ever Hear About
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Sparks Really Did Fly When Alex Avila Took A Foul Ball Off His Facemask Last Night (Video)
Your morning roundup for Sept. 14, the day we learned how to grow, um, tomatoes—yeah, tomatoes!—indoors. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

New Biography Claims Sarah Palin Had A One-Night Stand With Glen Rice In 1987
The National Enquirer grabbed some details from the upcoming Joe McGinniss Sarah Palin book, and this chunk is too delightful not to share with you immediately. Apparently Palin had a fling with former Heat/Hornet/Laker Glen Rice while he was in college and while she was a sports reporter in Alaska,...

Theo Epstein Says The Red Sox's Nosedive Is "A Tremendous Opportunity"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Boston's GM is not freaking the fahhk out....