yo Page 582 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Earn A One-Game Suspension In The NHL Playoffs
Attack and repeatedly punch a defenseless player. Jump into a scuffle and pound on a defenseless player from behind, and pull his hair. Take runs at two separate players, ringing two bells on one shift. Give a cross-check shove to a player's face after he tripped your team's star....
Miami TV Station Congratulates The Florida International University Panthers On Their Stanley Cup Playoff Win
The Florida Panthers took a 2-1 series lead over the New Jersey Devils with an astonishing 4-3 win that came after falling behind 3-0 in the first period. It's understandable, then, that the story led off the 10:00 news on Miami's WSVN; perhaps unaccustomed to hockey success, they got a few details...
Marian Hossa Was Stretchered Off The Ice After This Brutal Hit From Raffi Torres [UPDATE]
In a Stanley Cup playoffs on pace to smash records for game misconducts, it appears its most dangerous hit to date will be one that escaped on-ice punishment. In the first period of tonight's Game Three, Coyotes enforcer Raffi Torres left his feet to hit the Blackhawks' Marian Hossa; Hossa was un...
Oh, Why Not? Here's Rob Gronkowski Dancing And Singing Along To LMFAO
The Offseason of Gronk made it to Playboy Golf a couple of weeks back. Gronk's the one in the shades with the Zubaz pants and the matching Zubaz headband. Hope that clears up any confusion....
Finance Guy Keeps Incredibly Detailed, Incredibly Creepy Spreadsheet Of His Match.com Prospects
Let's call this guy, oh, "Dave." Dave is a financial services employee in New York. Dave goes on Match.com, and meets women, and sometimes goes on dates with them. Then Dave goes home and enters all sorts of information into an Excel sheet, to keep track of everyone....
Karl Alzner Calls Milan Lucic A Crybaby. Lucic's Teammate Says He Was "An Angry Baby."
Milan Lucic hasn't made much of an impact on the scoresheet, but he's been in the middle of every physical altercation in a physical series in a physical playoffs overall. Lucic picked up three roughing penalties on the night in a 4-3 Bruins win, and on the last ended up in a Karl Alzner headlock....
![Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17jvco9lcokgfjpg.jpg)
Todd Bertuzzi, Ping Pong Enforcer [UPDATE]
The feud between the Red Wings and Predators that began when Shea Weber smacked Henrik Zetterberg's head off the turnbuckle glass at the end of Game 1 has extended all the way to table tennis. At Joe Louis Arena, there's a ping pong table in the hallway between the home and visitors locker rooms. An...
Boston Paper Already Declares Red Sox Clubhouse Mutiny
The Red Sox lost a frustrating game yesterday, highlighted by a questionable strike zone, a mid-conversion Daniel Bard looking great but clearly tiring, and the manager crossing swords with the team's two most beloved players. So today the Herald leads not with a game report, but a rush to be the fi...
Here's The Only Woman In New York Unimpressed By Derek Jeter
The Yankees fell to .500 on the season with a 7-3 home loss to Minnesota last night, though Derek Jeter continued his hot hitting with two knocks—including a leadoff homer in the bottom of the first. All that, though, wasn't enough to impress this lass in the Legend Seats....
The Mets' Regrets: Will You Start Loving Citi Field If It Gets Uglier?
So now the ballpark of the moment is glassy and modern and full of moving fish, leaving the retro-style ballparks of the previous moment kaput. What happens to all those teams that are stuck with suddenly unfashionable nostalgia-parks? (And are stuck with them for a very long time.)...
Scenes From An Execution: Here's All 17 Goals Marc-Andre Fleury's Allowed To The Flyers This Series
The Philadelphia Flyers increased their Stanley Cup playoff series lead on Pittsburgh to 3-0 yesterday after a mess of a game best illustrated through metaphor. The six goals allowed by Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury ran his total allowed in the series to 17—a number that looks even worse when...
Can Anyone Stop The Los Angeles Kings?
The NHL playoffs have been their usual chaotic selves so far, with dashes of weird discipline and whatever the hell the Penguins-Flyers series is thrown in for good measure. There are just two impending sweeps: Penguins-Flyers, and Kings-Canucks. We can understand why the Flyers have spanked the Pen...
On NHL Suspensions And Eggshell Skulls
Shea Weber shoves Henrik Zetterberg's head into the glass: fine, no suspension. Byron Bitz hits Kyle Clifford from behind, sending him into the boards: two-game suspension. Matt Carkner sucker punches Brian Boyle, continuing to hit him after he goes down: one-game suspension. Carl Hagelin elbows Da...
There Was A Clown In Courtside Seats At MSG Yesterday, And For Once It Wasn't Donald Trump
Despite another strong game from Carmelo Anthony, the New York Knicks dropped their third straight this season to the Heat yesterday 93-85, a result we're sure put a sad face on all Knicks fans in attendance—at least those who didn't, you know, show up with a face already painted on....
Bobby Valentine Is Now Openly Antagonizing Kevin Youkilis
Kevin Youkilis has had a rough start to his 2012 season. He's hitting .200/.265/.223, and the Red Sox are 3-5. (CLARIFICATION: They were 3-5 when Valentine gave this quote. They're 4-5 now.) But it's the smallest of sample sizes, and the Red Sox got off to a bad start last year and everything work...
Inside The Mind Of NBC's Pervy Cameraman: "BOOBS!"
NBC's Stanley Cup playoff coverage is fantastic; the product they air on TV is great, but the extra camera feeds they offer online add an additional degree of coverage for those truly passionate about hockey. It's clear at least one of NBC's camera operators is passionate about something else, th...
Anonymous Florida Couple Pays $100,000 For A Day With Tim Tebow
How much is Tim Tebow worth? According to the Jets, a fourth- and a sixth-round pick. According to the winning bid yesterday at the charity auction for the Tim Tebow Foundation at Timmy's own Celebrity Golf Classic, $100,000. A day....
Bearded Batman Drinks Heineken, Probably Does Not Fight Crime
So Batman's a hockey fan, and definitely not the Lamborghini Batman or the Michigan Batman, at least today. But lest you forget, you better believe he's The Goddamn Batman....
The NHL Had A Good Day Yesterday
The Stanley Cup Playoffs, like the NBA playoffs, drag on for what feels like an eternity-spanning April, May and June. If every day shakes out the way yesterday did, however, then it might be worth it. Four games were played and three went to overtime. Four series had the chance to go 2-0 and all f...
Andrew Shaw Earned A Game Misconduct After Leveling Phoenix Goalie Mike Smith With This Headshot
Chicago winger Andrew Shaw drew a five-minute charging penalty and game misconduct after this incident in the second period of tonight's Game Two matchup between the Blackhawks and Coyotes in Phoenix in which Shaw dropped Mike Smith with a shot to the head....