yo Page 798 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Like You're Above That, Lewis
This isn't new, but with the upcoming onslaught of ESPN tournament coverage, I thought it might be helpful to revisit some of the masturbatory habits of your favorite ESPN analysts. Majerus likes Ashley Judd, and in the absence of Ashley Judd, likes hotel room porno....
That Lucky Janitor Saw Something Special
West Virginia isn't likely to hear their name called during this evening's NCAA Selection Show, so to cushion the blow, I thought we could check in with former Mountaineer stars Mike Gansey and Patrick Beilein and see what they're up to these days....
Brigham Young Cougars
1. Provo is an international destination. No, really. Hanging next to Danny Ainge's oversized jersey in from the rafters of the Marriott Center is that of Kresimir Cosic. Cosic, a 6'11" center from Croatia, became in 1972 the first foreign player to be named a UPI All-American. BYU's international p...
Some Of Them Don't Even Look All That Happy
You may hate soccer ... I know this. Still, I promise that these will be six enjoyable minutes internet minutes....
USC's Grand Week Continues
You'd have to consider OJ Mayo an extremely unlikely candidate to launch a white supremacy website, but that doesn't mean the much-heralded USC basketball recruit can't find another way to get into trouble. Mayo was busted for misdemeanor marijuana possession last night in Huntington, West Virginia....
Baseball Season Preview: New York Yankees
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Berman: It Is Useless To Resist
Via Sports by Brooks comes further proof that, although nature and common sense would seem to dictate otherwise, our nation's women are helpless before the visage of Berman. We sincerely believe that he can point at a woman any time he wishes — like James Earl Jones in Conan the Barbarian — and she ...
Eli Manning, Wayne Palmer: Same Guy
We're big fans of the television show "24," mainly because we love torture and can't quite believe Kiefer Sutherland somehow became tough as he got older. (We also have a serious crush on Chloe.) We're not exactly sold on this season, however, mainly because we refuse to believe a simpering wimp lik...
He Should At Least Be Proud Of His Defense
What better way to spend a weekend than getting some cheap laughs at the expense of a child? The Postmen dug up this YouTube clip of an unlucky youngster who had a very rough few seconds. The second bounce that him in the face... that was just unnecessary, God....
Perhaps He Will Someday Be Played By Helen Mirren
As creepy as we find recruiting — "Hey, look, it's a 16-year-old! Let's make him strip to his underwear and sprint for us!" — we do enjoy the wide variety of personalities and segments of humanity the vaster scope of coverage affords us. The more people we meet, the more likely there's going to be s...
Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move
Click to view Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator - The most amazing bloopers are here...
... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...
Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...
Baseball Season Preview: New York Mets
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
A-Rod's Tree Fort Now A Very Lonely Place
Listen son, I know that you were hoping that Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter would someday get back together, so that you and your favorite players would be a family again. But it's just not going to happen. Sometimes, people just grow apart, and there's nothing you can do about it. But both Alex and...
The Bunnies Are Not To Be Dunked On, Nate Robinson
I called Nate Robinson "annoying" earlier, but I may have been hasty in my judgment. From the Las Vegas Review Journal, via The FanHouse, comes this report of a dunk that Nate had planned for last night's contest....
Because This Had To End With Tim Hardaway Being Nude On YouTube
Tim Hardaway might not enjoy gay people, but I really think it could give us all a chance to heal if gay people had a chance to enjoy Tim Hardaway. And since there's already footage available on YouTube that might facilitate this healing process... I feel morally obligated to bring it to you....
David Wright Needs Your Help In Choosing A New Theme So
In case you haven't heard, David Wright is retiring his theme music: the Beastie Boys' Brass Monkey, which blared over the Shea Stadium loudspeakers each time he stepped to the plate last season. According to New York Mets Blog, Wright is looking for a new tune, and he needs your help. The Mets' sea...
NBA Roundup: The Slam Poetry Of Eddy Curry
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Eli Manning Has A Hard Time Meeting Girls
We don't listen to the radio much — we're too busy with Meat Loaf and REO Speedwagon on an endless iPod loop — so we missed this little tidbit from the Opie and Anthony "show." Some guy named Jason Itzler, who used to run the NY Confidential "escort" service, was a guest on the show, and the hosts a...