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What's The First Big News Story You Were Aware Of As A Kid?
So, here’s the single best discussion happening right now:...

No One Is Watching <i>All Takes Matter</i>
Fox Sports 1's new flagship debate fest, All Takes Matter, isn’t very good. The problem isn’t that it features two idiots slinging bad takes—although it does—but that it’s boring. Good sports studio shows need to be either smart or entertaining. A select few—Inside the NBA is the prime example—manag...

Joe Girardi Played Himself
There was a very weird baseball game in New York last night. The Yankees led the Rangers 6-5 heading into the ninth inning of a game that had been waterlogged by rainstorms since the fifth. Yankees closer Aroldis Chapman entered the storm to try and close things out, but walked the first batter he f...

Blue Jays Reliever Joe Biagini Is Not The Best Prankster
This video, taken by a fan who attended Wednesday’s Blue Jays-Tigers game, features Jays reliever Joe Biagini cooking up a sweet prank to to play on his buddies. The ol’ Cup Full of Sunflower Seeds prank! Oh boy oh boy, that rascal Joe is really gonna get ‘em this time! Just gotta check to tape to m...

Will Fox Sports 1's <i>All Takes Matter</i> Be Any Good? We're Airing Rehearsal Footage Right Now.
Fox Sports 1's All Takes Matter with Cowherd & Whitlock has been taping rehearsals all week in preparation for the show’s premiere on Monday. Deadspin has acquired several hours of these rehearsals from a Fox Sports source, and we’re airing select portions right now on Facebook Live:...

How To Order Delivery Without Feeling Like Shit, You Lazy Bum
Sometimes, after a long, soul-crushing day at work (or when you’re staring down an impossible hangover), the last thing you want to do is cook. You’d much rather fire up Seamless and order from your favorite local restaurant, where someone else will prepare the greasy food you think will make you fe...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Jake And The Neverland Pirates</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. ...

Navigating Your Way Through Bullshit Corporate Lingo
George Orwell made a living off of incredulity. Armed with a healthy distrust of capitalism and intense misgivings about the surveillance state, Orwell’s writings often presaged a bleak outlook for mankind. (His fucking head would explode if he could see what companies—i.e. Google and Facebook—and g...

Alternate Titles For Tim Tebow's Upcoming Book
Failed NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has gone and done what all famous white people in their 20s seem to be doing these days: he’s written a book about himself (this is actually Tebow’s second such book). The title of this book is SHAKEN: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life’s Storms, and...

Report: Colin Cowherd And Jason Whitlock To Host <i>All Takes Matter</i> At Fox Sports
Going by the ratings, no one wants to see scuttling opinion-haver Colin Cowherd and motivational speaker Jason Whitlock on their televisions. Despite this, they will be the new hosts of a Fox Sports show tentatively titled Speak For Yourself. (There’s still time for Fox to take up our suggestion to ...

A "Vodka Diet Coke" Is Not A Cocktail
Earlier today, during an interview game of “73 Questions,” a faceless reporter from Vogue asked famous robot Taylor Swift what her favorite cocktail is. The Diet Coke brand ambassador said it’s a “vodka Diet Coke,” which is a drink that can indeed exist by way of mixing the ingredients found in its ...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood</i>
It’s time to crash Deadspin’s ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours to watch reruns of The Americans. ...

Steve Francis Needs A Company To Ship One Of His Boats
Attention: Steve Francis, former star point guard for the University of Maryland and the Houston Rockets and not-star point guard for the New York Knicks, needs one of his boats moved from Sarasota, Fla. to “the Harbor.” (Presumably, if you’re the sort of person who can get a boat moved out of Saras...

Are You A Bay Area Pro Athlete? San Francisco Might Owe You A Parking Ticket Refund
Today, at 3:43 EST, Deadspin received one of the better tips we’ve seen in a while. Reader Zain was checking to see if the City of San Francisco owed him any money from parking tickets that he overpaid. Unfortunately for him, they did not. But fortunately for us and Tim Lincecum, Zain discovered tha...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>PAW Patrol</i>
It’s time once again for our ongoing series surveying the awful shows you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours....

You Should Be A Middle Reliever
Kanye West dropped a new album this weekend, and also tweeted a bunch of weird stuff about how much he is in debt....

Please Keep An Eye Out For Andy Dalton's Lost Suitcases
Attention people of Dallas: Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton desperately needs your help....

What Time Does 'What Time Does The Superbowl Start?' Start?
At some point tomorrow, the Carolina Panthers and the Denver Broncos will play against each other in the Super Bowl. However, a much more widely-contested game, between, oh, every publication, has already started. ...

We're The Staff Of Deadspin. Let's Chat.
It’s Friday and the snowpocalypse has descended upon most of us. We’re hanging out in the discussion section below, ready to yak....

No, Those Fake ESPN Stories About Tom Brady And J.J. Watt Doing Drugs Aren't Real
If you’ve used the internet over the past year and a half or so—and especially if you’ve visited the front page of Yahoo in that time—you may have seen some strange, seemingly ESPN-branded stories about NFL stars getting caught up in scandals you’ve never heard about anywhere else and promoting the ...