zen Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Accused Serial Groper Arnold Schwarzenegger Denounces Confessed Groper Donald Trump
Now joining the parade of prominent Republicans who have declared that, as of yesterday, Donald Trump became insupportable: former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. In a statement posted to Twitter, the muscleman and action-movie hero wrote: ...
Watch A Man Hit A Frozen Dildo With A Baseball Bat
Wired’s Brent Rose dipped a few objects, including a big dildo, in liquid nitrogen and destroyed them. He also explained the science behind why some of the items broke, and why others didn’t. It’s a worthwhile use of your time....
Louis Oosthuizen Shoots Hole-In-One Off J.B. Holmes's Ball
This certainly isn’t something you see very often. Hitting on No. 16, Louis Oosthuizen’s drive found the green—and J.B. Holmes’s ball—before rolling in for a hole-in-one, and almost giving Holmes a “hole-in-one” too....
Former Wild Player And His Bunny Call For Mike Yeo's Firing
Former NHL enforcer Zenon Konopka played parts of two seasons in Minnesota under coach Mike Yeo, and by all accounts they weren’t pleasant ones for either man. So take that into account when Konopka, with an assist from Hoppy Konopka, goes public with a call for Yeo’s ouster....
Frozen-Food Smackdown: Totino's Pizza Rolls Vs. Hot Pockets Snack Bites
Dweezil Zappa’s dad memorably declared that a country’s legitimacy is predicated upon its having its own airline and its own beer, and maybe a football team and a nuclear arsenal for good measure. With all due respect to the groovy and departed, I’d like to suggest that in this more enlightened age,...
That Feeling When You Think You Fucked Up But It All Works Out Anyway
I like to think that Philipp Schobesberger of Rapid Vienna helped an old lady carry her groceries up a couple flights of stairs last week and thus was karmically rewarded with this goal right here....
Great Moments In Kentucky Football
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Billy Beane Is One Of The Biggest Water Wasters In The Bay Area
You may have heard that there is a pretty serious drought in California. Starting this summer, water restrictions went into effect across the state. For customers of the East Bay Municipal Utility District (East Bay MUD), the restrictions include only being allowed to water your lawn twice a week (a...
<i>Purity </i>Went To Communist East Germany And Found Itself
We’ll move further along in Purity in just a moment. First, I want to relay the story of what happened the first time I opened the book up after the last dispatch, in which I discussed how much truer and more knowledgeably written Jonathan Franzen’s one-paragraph description of Santa Cruz’s weather ...
Hulk Kick Ball Hard
You’d think by this point soccer balls would know better than to make Hulk mad but apparently not. Oh well, their loss is our gain....
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
Jonathan Franzen Wants To Bone Pip, I Think?
So Jonathan Franzen is doing kind of a weird thing in the early going of Purity, his latest novel. He’s not the first author to do a version of this weird thing, but the particular way he’s doing it, at least so far, made me want to write about it now, before I’ve finished the entire book....
<i>Conan the Barbarian</i> Is Schwarzenegger At His Darkest, And Maybe Best
There’s a moment, early in Conan the Barbarian, when Arnold Schwarzenegger is wandering around some ancient city, high on some mysterious substance, giggling with his Mongol archer sidekick. He takes a few steps backwards and then stumbles into a camel. Without really looking at what he’s doing, he ...
<i>Terminator Genisys </i>Is Like A Loud, Lousy, Super-Confusing Cover Band
1. Terminator Genisys seems specifically designed to give you a headache. It’s a reboot, a sequel, a reimagining, and a rehash of the previous Terminator films all churned up and spackled together, a film that conjures up all your memories of those movies only to eradicate them with little explanati...
Fox Is Still Struggling With Basic Facts About Golfers
It’s the final round of the U.S. Open, and viewers have had myriad and legitimate gripes about Fox in its first year as the tournament’s official broadcaster. One common theme has highlighted the network’s announcers and their lack of knowledge or preparation; here’s an example, in which former Brit...
Boston U. Goalie Blows Late NCAA Title Game Lead With Huge Boner
A baffling mistake by Matt O’Connor allowed the puck into his own goal and blew Boston University’s 3-2 lead on Providence in the NCAA national championship game. Kyle McKenzie would eventually be credited with the goal, but O’Connor’s boner only grew bigger when minutes later he allowed the Friars...
RedHawks Play With Empty Net For 12 Minutes, Score Three Goals, Lose
Down four goals with almost 13 minutes left in Saturday's NCAA hockey regional semifinal, Miami RedHawks coach Enrico Blasi went full Patrick Roy, pulling his goalie in an attempt to pull off a historic comeback against the Providence Friars. It almost worked!...
Jim Boeheim Is The NCAA’s Favorite Kind Of Shitbag
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering bowling, moon colonies, giant scorpions, and more....