Ted Johnson Would Like You To Remind Him Where He Put His Keys ... And His Pants

Wasn't it just a couple of years ago that Bill Belichick was God? Lose a couple of big games, and it all begins to crumble. Former Patriots linebacker Ted Johnson said on Thursday that Belichick forced him to practice with a concussion, causing him to, um, to ... what was it were were talking about?

Johnson, who helped the Patriots win three Super Bowl titles before retiring two years ago, told The New York Times that a collision with another player during that 2002 practice led to another concussion. And, after sustaining additional concussions over the next three seasons, he now forgets people's names, misses appointments and suffers from depression and an addiction to amphetamines. There's something wrong with me," the 34-year-old Johnson told the Times in a story posted on its Web site Thursday night. "There's something wrong with my brain. And I know when it started."

As proof of his claims, here are five things that Ted Johnson also believes:

• One of his concussions occurred when he was tackled by this guy.

• A troop surge is a logical step toward a quick and decisive end to hostilities in Iraq.

• "Even though I am in church, I will open this cell phone photo from Sean Salisbury. What could possibly go wrong?"

• That Barbaro has the heart of a champion. He'll pull through.

• If I could just find that TV infomercial with the two midget guys again, all my money problems would be over.

Belichick Made Ex-Linebacker Practice With Concussion? [MSNBC]