The Fights Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Went To A UFC Match, And A Fight Broke Out
As Mark Coleman transitioned into forced retirement, Tito Ortiz cursed him out from cageside, while girlfriend Jenna Jameson gave the finger. That's probably not a first for Jenna, if "Where The Boys Aren't 17" is any indication. [cagewriter]...

Herschel Walker's MMA Debut Ugly As Expected
Walker's appearance for Strikeforce last night went as successfully as a match against an out-of-shape, inexperienced fighter, with the crowd booing you for using poor technique and not finishing him off can go. [Sherdog]...

UFC Fight Night 20: Suburban Hell, Blood Loogies, And The Glorious Return Of The Hipster Warrior
The UFC slunk into the Patriot Center in Fairfax last night. Fairfax isn't so much a town as a county. To be more specific, it's a naturally occurring asbestos pit home to spies, Civil War fanatics and lax-obsessed Caucasian moneylovers....

Old Man To Embarrass Himself For Your Amusement (And Money)
Forget Pacquiao/Mayweather; Evander Holyfield is set to fight again, against similarly washed-up Francois Botha. If this doesn't give the WBF belt legitimacy, nothing will. [AP]...

Overgrown Monster Man And Peppy She-Child Make Beautiful Music
Wladimir Klitschko and Hayden Panettiere, besides exploding my spellchecker, have been photographed canoodling (this is a word that only applies to celebrity couples). Do with this news what you will. [Pacific Coast News]...

Pacquiao, Mayweather Reduced To Peeing In Cups
This is the solution the Nevada boxing commission came up with to ensure the fight that will save boxing goes on. The commission has even offered to supply the urine for both of them. [SI]...

John McCain is Pursuing His Hobbies in His Old Age
Apparently John McCain is a really big boxing fan to the point where HBO wanted him to "mediate the drug testing dispute" between Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather Jr. Can I start hoping for Sarah Palin as ring girl? [ESPN]...

Pretty Boy/Pac-Man Doping Mindgames Go Both Ways
Pacquiao's camp proposed a $10 million payment if either fighter flunks a drug test; Mayweather's people refused. At this point, they can both take horse Viagra for all I care, as long as they shut up and fight. [Examiner]...

Mayweather Laughably Implies Pacquiao Is Doping
The press releases we get are usually worthless, but sometimes they are news in themselves. Like this one we just got, in which Floyd Mayweather's camp not-so-subtly accuses Pac-Man of ingesting something stronger than power pellets....

Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....

If You're Breathing (And Maybe If Not) Someone Will Sanction Your MMA Fight
A five-time World's Strongest Man champion thinks his very specific skill set can translate to MMA. There's a reason he's never won the World's Smartest Man competition (no Polish jokes please)....

Boxer's Death Creates Life For Others
Fighter Francisco "Paco" Rodriguez died from a brain injury suffered during a 10-round match last Friday, but his donated organs saved the lives of eight people, including his own uncle, who was on the waiting list for a kidney transplant....

All You Need To Know About Last Night's Fight
From the AP story: "Cotto's wife and child, who were at ringside, left after the ninth round, unable to watch the beating any longer." Cue Pretty Boy Floyd dodging a fight in 3, 2, 1... [AP]...

Who Said Mike Tyson Can't Still Throw A Punch?
Tyson's been arrested at LAX after getting into a fight with paparazzi. Tracking... (but not really, because who really gives a sh*t anymore.) [TMZ]...

UFC 104: Zombies, Blind Men And The False Triumph Of The Piss-Drinker
Three years have passed since the UFC put on a show in Los Angeles, and maybe this is why. The California State Athletic Commission this weekend jobbed Shogun Rua out of a light heavyweight title....

What's The Deal With The City Of Cleveland And Staph Infections?
Kelly Pavlik, the WBO, WBC and The Ring (I love Naomi Watts) middleweight champion, said that he nearly died from an allergic reaction to a medication prescribed to treat a staph infection....

UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....

Yep. That Guy Is Unconscious
In case you missed it, here is super middleweight Jermain Taylor getting knocked the eff out with 15 seconds left in his fight against Arthur Abraham on Saturday. WHY ARE YOU EVEN COUNTING? Get the man some help! [BSO/ESPN]...

George Foreman III Needs To Be Made Clearer On This Whole Groupie Thing
The newly pro "Monk" Foreman has reportedly struck up some kind of relationship with British singer/ogre Amy Winehouse. This can only end in heartbreak. STDs and heartbreak. [The Sun]...

Mike Tyson Says It Was A Pleasure To Have Known, Bitten Evander Holyfield
Oprah gave Mike Tyson a chance to apologize to Evander Holyfield for real today. Tyson passed. He does more dancing in these 30 seconds than he did in his entire career. What a champion! [Oprah]...