"Pillow fights were different in my day," said the old man, his wrinkled features revealing the memories. "We didn't have these modern synthetic pillows, or neck pillows with lumbar back support. We used the real thing, with feathers! Yeah, sometimes they'd bust open. But that was the chance you took in a pillow fight." The man paused to pet his old dog, Bullet, who was seated at his side. Bullet had died in 1985 and was, predictably, stuffed with goose down. "And pillow fight insurance? There was no such thing! It was man against man, armed only with pillows, and a will to survive!" His voice trailed off, and he offered Bullet a cookie, which fell from the dog's lips onto the carpet. And once again he was lost in a simpler, more violent world ...
Psst ... it's coming to your town.
Welcome to the Pillow Fight League, which has been drawing growing crowds in Toronto since it formed early last year, and is now set to export its campy fun to New York City. Top contenders include Betty Clock'er — by day a financial editor and by night a cushion-swinging housewife who brings a plate of cookies to ringside — and Polly Esther, billed as the waitress from hell.
Of course, most major cities already have this. They're called Major League Baseball fights.