The More You Drive, The Less Intelligent You Are

A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness.

It helps if you dress like a detective. Detective dress kinda square. If you look like a detective people are gonna think you're packing something.

If you'd rather die on your feet than live on your knees, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

• 2K Sports • New York Times Travel • Project Kuros • Unscrew America