The One With A Drunk Gunslinger And More Irrational Anger

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

New Vikings Quarterback Used To Get All The Girls

Or "Brett Favre Gettin' Jiggy" via Ghosts of Wayne Fontes

Penn Football Is Trying To Toughen Up Their Image

After seeing those slack jawed D-2 faggots giving each other hand jobs in the Trench Coat Mines of Colorado, I had to send this pic.

This is Meanstreet, -f

Ruination, Etc.

We're really going back to that well huh? Are you trying to bang her? Maybe you're just doing hand stuff. Who knows, there could even be a little mouth stuff peppered in there. It has to be something to that effect, because I can't think of another reason why she's writing for Deadspin....again.

If that's the case I'm not knocking your hustle, I'm just trying to understand how a girl who wrote an article making fun of stereotypes in a bar, while she is herself, a giant fucking stereotype, ends up back for round 2. I get it baby, you're so different it hurts. I'm impressed.

Listen, I love Deadspin, and if all it takes to write for you guys is posting a few douchey pictures of myself in sports gear consider it done. I've got a great one of me from my senior year at Iowa wearing Hawkeye overalls. I look like the biggest hillbilly fucktard you've ever seen. Pencil me in for a column next week on how Jay Cutler brought cool back to Diabetes after Ron Santo ruined it in this town.

I show up for the way Drew can phonetically break down any dialect, and stay for Tommy's run down of why every stadium sucks. I don't need Blazer Girl messing that up, unless she's gonna cut me in on some of that hand stuff. Then she can write whatever she feels like. Oh and you ruined Deadspin or something, bitch.

All the best,

Pat Kenny

More Blazer Girl Outrage

AJ, I've always thought that the whole "AJ has ruined Deadspin" thing was drastically overstated, but this makes give pause. This is the dumbest fucking thing you've ever done. Blazergirl was intolerable in her brief Deadspin cameo, and I hoped that you'd seen so and acted accordingly. Holy shit this sucks. I give up. No more Deadspin. This sucks. Just because I'd fuck that hipster dumbshit doesn't mean I care what she says about ESPN. No offense, but you suck.

Bye, Chad

To Be Fair, Mr. Craggs Will Earn $28k This Year

Tommy – What was the point of that piece, other than you had to eventually get around to trashing Fenway for your deep-thinking stadium series? Have you ever been there? Is it really that bad a place? You seem to have a problem that some people really like a place that you don't. You are certain they are wrong. You are offended that others see something you don't. Yours will be a long life.

But then again, I'd be pretty pumped if I was pulling in $27,500 to crank out this kind of superficial, one-dimensional trash.

Idea: Camden Yards. Tell us all how bad that place is!!! It will be awesome. I can't' wait!!!

Is this the best they could teach you at UNI High? Your parents must be so proud too. Failed at ESPN and now you're doing this mindless crap that will lead you nowhere. But at least you're making $27,500!!

Awesome, Tommy. Awesome.