The Ultimate Super Bowl Dip Playoffs

Jolie Kerr|published: Tue 28th January, 13:00 2014

The Super Bowl is about three things, in no particular order because that's not the riot we're here to start today: 1. The Football 2. The Commercials 3. The Food. Maybe The Halftime Show too, but that mostly depends on whether or not we get to see some nipple action.

There probably will never be a consensus about what is The Ultimate Super Bowl Food. Strong arguments can be made for wings, sure. Also for pizza. And certainly chili is a contender for the title. But one indisputable fact is that no Super Bowl party is complete without dip. And so we are here to determine and crown The Ultimate Super Bowl Dip, via our Dip Playoffs.

There are, as you might imagine, some notes on these playoffs:

Salsa is its own division because SALSAAAAAAA.

Black bean dip is a separate thing entirely from black bean salsa—one is blended to a smooth consistency and one is not. The appearance of black beans twice in the bracket is not a mistake.

Cases can be made for divisional realignment. Go ahead and make them, but the seedings have already been set so tough noogies for you.

We included that miserable Skyline Chili dreck because it's fun to watch you weirdos get riled up about it.

If you're unfamiliar with any of the entrants, by all means check out this really great internet website called google dot com.

There are 32 entrants because there are 32 NFL teams. And also because it's actually surprisingly hard to come up with more than 32 dips.

HOWEVER. You will assuredly make great hay out of any and all omissions because screaming on the internet is so deeply satisfying. Scream away. We'll be eating dip, what do we care?

Here are the full seedings, with the bracket by Sam Woolley above.