The Warriors Will Be Fun And Deadly And None Of It Matters Until May

The Golden State Warriors beat the Los Angeles Clippers 120-75 last night. Most of that lead was built in the first half, when both teams were still playing starters. You were probably watching the vice-presidential debate or the AL Wild Card game instead, because you rightfully don’t give a single shit about preseason NBA games. But I am here to tell you that for the Warriors this year, it’s preseason basketball all the way down.

They aren’t going to win 74 games, and after last season’s, uhhh, let’s just call it a debacle, nothing matters besides winning the NBA Finals, or perhaps more accurately, not losing the NBA Finals, if that distinction makes sense. They are going to win 60-plus regular season games, and even the first round of the playoffs won’t be anything more than an interesting exercise, in much the same way that swatting a fly is an interesting exercise. If you want to peace out and check back in at Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, or May Day, nobody’s going to hold it against you.

In the meantime, the second best basketball player in the world will be playing on the same team as the third best basketball player in the world, and some other pretty good basketball players too. If last night was any indication, the Warriors will be precisely as advertised: a Hydra who will devastate all comers with a barrage of three-pointers, and whose spacing will be so lethal it will create wide-open lanes to the cup. Sorta like this:

And sometimes Steph Curry will still shake jamokes out of their shoes:

But until the Warriors either knock off the Cleveland Cavaliers or die trying, they’re just fun highlights, nothing deeper.