To Watch Tonight

What to watch after being pummeled by lesbians ... • MLB: Washington at Atlanta. Braves are the new black. [ TBS] • NBA: New Jersey at Cleveland; Los Angeles Clippers at Los Angeles Lakers. Oh TNT Thursday night doubleheader, how we will miss your sweet smile. [ TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, conference quarterfinals, Calgary at Detroit, Game 1. Miikka Kiprusoff not weak! [ Versus] • Soccer: MLS, Dallas at Los Angeles. Now with 20 percent less diving. [ ESPN2] • Movie: The Hot Chick. Rob Schneider, the pride of Pacifica, Calif. [ FX]