Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

What to watch as clowns surround your house and lob in water balloons ...
• College basketball: Memphis at Cincinnati, 7 p.m. (ET). My bearcat and I will be right in front of the TV. [ESPN2]
• NBA: Detroit at Boston, 7 p.m. (ET); Phoenix at Dallas, 9:30 p.m. (ET). Your NBA Playoff semifinalists? Possibly. [ESPN].
• Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller: Pete Rose tells all. (7 p.m., 10 p.m. ET). [Versus]


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