Today In Soccer...

• Liverpool wins the FA Cup. Well, that one had to suck, if you're a West Ham fan. The Hammers were up by two goals in the final game for the championship of all of England... only to see Steven Gerrard score from way out in the 90th minute to the tie the game. Then, of course, Liverpool went on to win the game on penalties. That one's gonna sting for a while. The win was worth £1,000,000.

• Tottenham to Wigan: Hey, we'll give you £3m for that defender that doesn't want to play for you anymore. Wigan to Tottenham: £3m won't even get you his autograph. Pascal Chimbonda stays with Wigan... for now. By the way, can you imagine if NBA GM's could just call other teams and attempt to buy their players? How many times would conversations like this one go down?

Isiah Thomas: Hey, I'll give you $10 million for your best player. Other GM: No. Isiah Thomas: Alright. $40 million. Other GM: No. Isiah Thomas Alright. $75 million for your 7th best player. Other GM: Deal. Isiah Thomas: YES!

• Fulham has made it known that they'll consider offers for their midfielder, Steed Malbranque. I'm saving up. Because one day, when I hire a manservant, I want his name to be Steed Malbranque.

• Chelsea wants to acquire Ukrianian stud Andriy Shevchenko from AC Milan. Shevchenko says he's thinking of leaving because of "family issues," but hasn't formally requested a transfer. Chelsea will probably end up just kidnapping him anyway.