Today In The Premiership...

mjdeadspin|published: Sat 11th March, 16:58 2006

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• Chelsea 2-1 Tottenham. William Gallas uncorked a buck nasty shot that got by Tottenham's goalie to give Chelsea the win in extra time. Chelsea now needs just five wins in their last nine games to wrap up another league title. Their celebratory hugs, however, remain segregated.

• Portsmouth 2-1 Manchester City. Man City was anything but manly today. They led the whole way, and with 8 minutes left, they failed to clear a corner, and Pedro Mendes buried a long shot for lowly Portsmouth. And then in extra time, Man City failed again to clear a corner, and Pedro Mendes buried another long shot. Pedro Mendes is apparently a big Gerry McNamara fan.

• Blackburn 2-0 Aston Villa. Blackburn slides ahead to 5th place in the league standings, behind only Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool and Tottenham. I still think Blackburn's jerseys look like cans of Red Bull.

• Everton 3-1 Fulham. James Beattie is just tearing up the universe. He put in two more goals today against Fulham, who has yet to win a road game this year. Said their coach, "They looked like they had no idea how to play as a team. I am embarrassed by the fact that we haven't won away from home this season and I hope my players are." Anger.