Today In The Premiership...

Chelsea 2-1 Portsmouth. Chelsea is again back at the top of the standings, thanks in part to Andriy Shevchenko's first goal at Stamford Bridge. Michael Ballack also scored, making it a goal each for Chelsea's two big off-season whores. Portsmouth goalie David James was about the only thing keeping this game from looking like...

Wigan 4-0 Manchester City. ...this game. City scored no goals, showed no pride, and displayed no competency. No one even got to see Joey Barton's ass. Wigan got a goal from Emile Heskey less than 70 seconds into the match, got an own goal from Richard Dunne, and then Henri Camara and Luis Valencia added the third and fourth humiliators.

Charlton 0-0 Watford. To quote Joe Duggan's Premiership round-up at ESPNsoccernet, "there were chances at either end in the second half as the defensive frailties that have left both teams struggling this season were much in evidence." If there are evident defensive frailties in a 0-0 game, how bad must those offenses have been? This one must've been a gem to watch.

Everton 2-0 Sheffield United Aston Villa 1-1 Fulham

Tomorrow

Manchester United vs. Liverpool Blackburn vs. Bolton Middlesbrough vs. Newcastle Tottenham vs. West Ham Reading vs. Arsenal