Today In The Premiership...

Today feels like a fine day to celebrate the legacy of Sir Alex Ferguson. As of Monday, he will have been Manchester United's manager for 20 years, and Guardian Unlimited has this list of his best all-time quotes. I'll be honest, in half of them, I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I did enjoy these two:

"Could I have two bullets?" - when asked 'If you had one bullet and Victoria Beckham and Arsene Wenger were in the room, what would you do?' in 2004.

"It's getting tickly now. Squeaky-bum time, I call it" - tickling Arsenal's undercarriage in 2003.

Meanwhile, his Manchester United side had an easy time of it today with Portsmouth. Saha scored in the third minute, Ronaldo scored in the 10th, and then the route was complete when Vidic added the third goal in the 65th minute. They're three points ahead of Chelsea at the top of the standings for the moment. Chelsea plays Tottenham tomorrow.

A mid-week team go-karting trip apparently worked wonders for Liverpool, as they got a 2-0 win over Reading today. Dirt Kuyt (what is it with guys named dirk and scraggly blonde hair?) scored twice, and Liverpool continues to right the ship since their disastrous start to the season.

The good news for Watford is that their win over Middlesbrough yanked them out of the relegation zone. The bad news is that striker Marlon King has been ruled out for the season, and they still dress like they work at McDonalds. Middlesbrough, themselves just a couple of points ahead of Watford, might as well have played today with the words "Relegate Me" printed across the front of their jerseys. Their coach argues that they don't lack heart or character, they just aren't very good at soccer.

English Premiership Scoreboard [Soccernet]