Totally Agenda-less Sources: Tom Brady Is A Really Great Guy

In a 10-hour hearing at NFL headquarters yesterday, Tom Brady defended himself against accusations he was involved in Ballghazi and appealed his four-game suspension. If we are to believe ESPN’s sources, who certainly have no motivation other than disseminating god’s truth, Brady was so good, his suspension will surely be overturned and he will be named NFL commissioner-for-life.

A source told ESPN’s Adam Schefter that “Tom Brady’s greatest ally today was Tom Brady.”

Sources also told Schefter that Brady came off as genuine, earnest and persuasive, addressing every issue raised in the league-sanctioned Wells report during Tuesday’s long meeting.

One of the sources called it “an A-plus performance.”

Considering the only people in that room were those who want Tom Brady’s punishment to stand and those who want it reduced, take a guess who’s feeding Schefter here.

Still, would this face lie to you?

But! Here comes a competing version of events. This is via Pro Football Talk, and once again you can be sure that the source is an unbiased one.

Per a league source, Brady simply reiterated his denial regarding any involvement in or knowledge of whatever it was that John Jastremski and Jim McNally may have been doing with the team’s footballs. When pressed on certain facts relating to Brady’s potential knowledge or involvement, the answers were regarded by some in the room (i.e., some who aren’t paid to exonerate Brady) as not entirely credible.

To recap, Tom Brady is a Golden God with a million-megawatt smile and an inability to speak anything but the truth who is probably lying through his teeth. Sources say.