True Detective's Sneakers Assault Was Totally Justified

The most memorable scene from last night’s season premiere of True Detective features Bad and Tough and Damaged detective Ray Velcoro, played by Colin Farrell, beating the crap out of a suburban dude because the suburban dude’s son destroyed a pair of shoes that belonged to Velcoro’s son.

“What a mad man!” you probably thought while watching that scene. “What kind of psycho brass-knuckles a man half to death over a pair of shoes???”

Let me stop you right there.

Recall the scene in which Velcoro first learns that his son’s shoes have been stolen and cut up by a bully. “The fucking LeBrons or whatever” is how he refers to the missing footwear.

Whoa, hold up. “The fucking LeBrons or whatever?” We are talking about some pretty expensive shoes, here! Expensive enough to justify Velcoro shouting, “I’ll come back and butt-fuck your father with your mom’s headless corpse on this goddamn lawn” at a child right after going all Max Cady on that child’s dad?

I’m just saying.