Trump Called A Press Conference Because The Tweets Weren't Working

Here is a ... well, here is something:

For days, a frustrated and simmering president fumed inside the West Wing residence about what aides said he saw as his staff’s inadequate defense and the ineffectiveness of his own tweets.

Celebrities: They’re just like us!

That’s from this morning’s New York Times, in a fun recap article that does its best but still, inevitably, falls short of capturing the full batshit insanity of the press conference held yesterday by rageaholic meth boar Donald Trump.

Read it anyway. Not only for the incredibly bizarre mental image conjured by the above passage—Trump just storming around the White House like a pent-up animal, wattled jaw clenched, shriveled mouth contorted by fury, teeny little baby hands balled into fists, firing off those unhinged tweets (“ The spotlight has finally been put on the low-life leakers! They will be caught!”), his rage ballooning as each next one somehow fails to bring the evening cable news shows to heel—but for a bracing reminder that your fate and that of your children depends on the choices of a reality-TV steak grifter who spray-paints himself the color of a traffic cone and was stunned to learn he could not conduct the presidency of the United States over Twitter.

This is fine. It’s all fine.

[ NYT]