TV Listings (With Proper Timestampery)

Quite exciting, this web log magic. For once the TV listings will show up on the correct date, unless of course I'm merely being preemptively presumptuous and the TV listings for today appear sometime next Thursday on Jalopnik. So let's see where the time-o-meter takes us, so in the meantime, please take some time for StarTropics II: Zoda's Revenge, a game loosely based on Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure — the movie, not the video game.

And now for the moving picture listings. There's actually some watchable junk in here:

• 12:30 p.m. — NHL: Chicago Blackhawks at Detroit Red Wings. Bill Wirtz has blacked out the game in most purgatory neighborhoods. [NBC]

• 1 p.m. — NBA: Golden State Warriors at New Orleans Hornets. Hey Chris Paul, I love your mom's fishsticks! No, that's a compliment, don't... *whack* [ABC]

• 1 p.m. — Tennis: Sony Ericsson Open, Rafael Nadal vs. Nikolay Davydenko. Or perhaps it's Novak Djokovic wearing Rafael Nadal's skin. [CBS]

• 1 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Toronto Blue Jays. Thanks to the exchange rate, Kevin Youkilis needs only 3.9 pitches for a walk. [TBS]

• 2:10 p.m. — MLB: Houston Astros at Chicago Cubs. Those who had April 5 in the "Kerry Wood DL" pool, you've already lost. Nice effort, though. [WGN]

• 3 p.m. — Golf: LPGA Kraft Nabisco Championship, final round. The ladies tees are closer to the greens, but it's merely a coincidence. They were intended to be closer to shoe sales. [CBS]

• 3 p.m. — Golf: Houston Open, final round. Can Chad Campbell overtake Johnson Wagner's insurmountable four-shot lead? You're crazy! [NBC]

• 3:30 p.m. — NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns. A riveting matchup of teans who won't be in the Western Conference final. [ABC]