Uncle Joey Is Babysitting Today

Imagine my surprise when I got in this morning and found this note: On vacation. You're doing the site for the next two days. Do not try to contact me. Beer in the fridge. — Will. A sudden chill ran through me, for I knew instantly what the implications were: There was in fact no beer in the fridge.

The good news is that it's late February and nothing's happening anyway; so sit back and enjoy nine hours of Bullwinkle impressions. You can hit me with tips at [email protected]; or otherwise, a note tied to a rock will work as usual. The only request I would make of our commenters is that you don't submit any recipes for fertilizer bombs. Looking forward to a fun day. And if Kimmy Gibbler ends up pregnant, it wasn't me.