Welcome To Our Hell

Yo, here's the deal, G. Big Papi was dropping some PHAT rhymes with Busta at his club the other day, but — get this, dawg — Busta was wearing a Yankees hat. BURN!

Yo, check it: This is what we call the "real" dope. Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf — they're married, ya'll — got themselves a sitter the other night and — sit down for this, yo — had some eats atop a restaurant and then went to GAMBLE! Your minds blown yet? Is reality MELTING AROUND YOU?

Better strap in, holmes: Ya'lls cerebellum is about to be seriously fried to the point that mental retardation is an inevitable consequence: Arnold Schwarzenegger dropped some dope wisdom on Al and Madden on "Monday Night Football," and Phil Mickelson — dude's got some titties, yo! — chilled with Scarface bitch Ray Romano in the stands. They ate peanuts and hot dogs! Can you handle this? Have we shifted your perspective to the point that you can only drool and play with shiny objects? WILL YOUR LOVED ONES EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU ANYMORE?

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Hey, ESPN Hollywood is streaming online now. Cool.

ESPN Hollywood Streaming Video [ESPN]