Welcome To The House of Pain, Bitches

The Miami-Dade Community College chess team — as seen above — has steamrolled several Ivy League schools to reach the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. Naturally, we demand a steroids investigation.

That's right, you don't come into The Dade talkin' smack. That's knight to queen's bishop two, punk.

They're calling it the triumph of the everyman. The Miami-Dade team includes a security alarm salesman, a 34-year-old computer science student, a teacher and grocery store deli worker ... an Indian, a policeman, a construction worker ... It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

By finishing fourth in the Pan American Intercollegiate Chess Tournament, Miami Dade qualified for this weekend's finals of collegiate chess, facing powerhouses University of Texas-Dallas, Duke University and the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

Yes, Duke has made the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. It's rooks and bishops, baby! You do not want to use the Queen's Gambit Declined in front of the Cameron Crazies!

Fla. Community College Checkmates Ivys [Yahoo News]