Why Is This Man So Excited?

This is Astros closer Brad Lidge, and in this picture anyway, he's a very excited young man. (It obviously was not taken Monday.) There are many reasons he might be so happy. He could have just closed out an Astros victory. He could have learned that he wasn't going to be a lot of money for his car insurance. Or, according to The Bulge Report, he could have a Johnson the size of the Big Unit.

Yep. Presumedly gay-skewing Web site The Bulge Report — which appears to have a bunch of pictures of celebrities with an outline of their package through their clothes — has released the list of the 100 baseball players with the most impressive dimensions, as reported by media, lockroom attendants, scouts, teammates, so on. It's subscription only, so, you know, if you're into that type of thing.

Thankfully (or not, whatever), we know someone like that, who forwarded us the list. They haven't posted the top 10 yet, but we have a few excerpts, including from our man Lidge.

No. 11: Brad Lidge. very hung; damn near 9" soft No. 17: Chris Young. Very thick & uncut; huge & long like Jeff Francis, but not quite as big. No. 13: Mark Prior. So hung he has a specially constructed jockstrap that allows his cock to point upwards to not get in the way of his windup.

So, there you have it. Best part about that Prior post? The source for that is listed as "agent." Man, we need that agent!

Bulge Report (Not Safe For Work, by the way. But you probably guessed that.)