World Cup Preview: Group F

The World Cup is almost here! So that you aren't caught flat-footed, we're previewing each group, in no particular order, to explain why your team has no chance to win (you'll thank us later). Today: Group F! If you have any thoughts on a particular group, send them to [email protected]. Our operators are standing by.

If Brazil fails to advance from this group, it shall signal the end times. Great, horned beasts shall emerge from the jungles and attack our cities; locusts shall descend and devour our crops. There will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Also, The Nanny will return to TV and win an Emmy. If Brazil blows this, our Ronaldinho poster business goes flat broke. And we can't afford that. The real question is who comes in second? Japan is scrappy and has a lot to prove after everyone saying that 2002 was a fluke. Croatia tied Brazil 2-2 in the World Federation Cup, and as for Australia, well, as much as we'd like to, we just can't get behind a squad called the Socceroos. Sorry. The vital statistics:

• Group F: Australia, Brazil, Croatia, Japan. • Our pick to win: Brazil. • Which means the winner will probably be: Croatia. (Two teams advance). • No chance: Australia. • You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo steel : Japan. • Match schedule.

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