You Must Watch This Long, Bizarre Video Résumé For Free Agent Cuban Defector Yoenis Cespedes

Maybe you remember Aleksey Vayner, the man whose video résumé took the snarking corners of the internet by storm in 2006. Or perhaps you're familiar with the glossy books that MLB superagent Scott Boras prints up to pitch his clients to MLB teams. And, you know, if you're familiar with both of these things, perhaps you wondered what a fusion of the two media would look like. Your wait is over.

Kevin Goldstein at Baseball Prospectus (you do not need a subscription) uncovered this video, advertising 26-year-old Cuban-defector outfielder Yoenis Cespedes. Its auteur is Edgar Mercedes, a Dominican agent whom Goldstein compares to Fellini, with good reason.

It's mostly a workout video, scored with the usual hip-hop hits—"Look at Me Now," Juelz Santana's "There It Go," Jay-Z's "On to the Next One"—but the workouts are in slow-mo and involve lots of non-baseball things. There are Star Wars-style credits. There are still images of galaxies. There are cheesy sound effects. There is a shout-out to Ahman Green. Impact, the font of memes everywhere, is used unironically. And there is so much more, particularly at the end of the video. Please, please watch this thing. They will be the most rewarding 20 minutes of your day.

Future Shock: Yoenis Cespedes—The Showcase [Baseball Prospectus, NO sub. req'd]