You Should Take Tomorrow Off And Read Us All Day

Because we are. Yes, dear angry readers, tomorrow is the day you've all been waiting for: Fire Joe Morgan, in all of its food metaphorical glory, reunites and takes over Deadspin for the day.

Yes, Ken Tremendous, Dak and Junior gloriously return after, like, 10 months. (But in internet time that is approximately 64 years. So fucking get excited!)

For those uninitiated and unaware of their VORP-filled genius, brace yourselves for multiple orgasms. Seriously, tomorrow will be the blog equivalent of a Led Zeppelin reunion if the Led Zeppelin reunion included the reanimated corpse of John Bonham on drums and they left out "Stairway To Heaven" from their set list and played "Traveling Riverside Blues" for 15 minutes instead.

Sports columnists and David Eckstein, you've been warned: prepare to be ridiculed by the masters. And "professional" bloggers and humorists? Prepare to be humbled. Then splooge.

*****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. VORP your face off.