Your Comic Book Movie Probably Doesn't Need An On-Set Therapist

Here is a headline about Suicide Squad, the upcoming movie adapted from the DC Comics title of the same name:

I can think of a few movies that might have had a need for an on-set therapist, but a movie about a ragtag group of villains with names like Captain Boomerang, Killer Croc, and Slipknot isn’t one of them. Maybe I’m being unfair, though. Let’s hear from one of the actors:

“David Ayer is about realism,” Adam Beach (Slipknot) tells E! News. “So, if your character is tormented, he wants you to torment yourself. He wants the real thing. We kind of have like a therapist on board if you fall off the wagon and really are villainous. There’s a friend of [Ayer’s] that’s very unique in making sure we have our ground.”

I really don’t want to be too harsh on a movie that doesn’t even have a trailer yet, but c’mon, man. “‘David Ayer is about realism,’ Adam Beach (Slipknot) tells E! News” is the most unintentionally hilarious sentence I’ve read in at least a month. Do you know what Slipknot’s superpower is? He makes extremely durable ropes. He is a master of ropes. He’s also the guy on the very far left in this cast photo:

The character named Slipknot who is a master of ropes is, what, the sixth-most ridiculous person in that picture?

Comic book movies don’t have to be this way, man. DC is out here making Ben Affleck grit-grumble “DO YOU BLEED?” in the rain and turning the guy who talks to fish into the Khal Drogo of the sea. Meanwhile, Marvel is making movies that feature talking trees and sassy raccoons, and they are awesome.

In closing: