As soon as Rep. Anthony Weiner first acknowledged his roiling Twitter-bulge scandal with a desperate "I've been hacked" defense last week, we knew he was guilty. "I've been hacked" is the first refuge of a cock-Tweeter. Weiner isn't the first to mistakenly send a private Twitter flirtation to a relative stranger. Here's a long list of very public sports figures who've been through similar ordeals. Some of the messages were sexual, some were surly, but all of these men proclaimed their innocence and denied responsibility for their social-media boners. Odds are, though, that just like the beleaguered Weiner, some of them were straight-up lying.

Rich Eisen was not "so horny." He was hacked.

Ray Allen did not ask anyone if when they masturbate, do they "think about my tongue or your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue." He was hacked.

Carmelo Anthony did not put out a hit on groupie Kat Stacks. He was hacked.

Will Hill did not and does not go harder than a Russian, nor does he shit in airports. He was hacked.

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The legal owner of MarkMadsen.com did not sell the domain to Mark Madsen. He was hacked.

Rasual Butler did not Tweet his penis. He was hacked.

Eric Wynalda did not talk shit about the USMNT on Facebook. He was hacked.

Santonio Holmes did not tell a fan to kill themselves. He was hacked.

Paul Pierce did not trash-talk the Magic on Twitter after a game. He was hacked.

Ron Artestdid not have it up to here with Phil Jackson. He was hacked.

Andray Blatche did not challenge a fan to a fistfight. He was hacked.

Tito Ortiz did not post a photo of himself "wearing nothing but a smile." He was hacked.

Chad Ochocinco did not Tweet those x-rated things that bothered Dick Vitale. He was hacked.

Chad Ochocinco did not criticize the NFL's new rules. He was hacked.

Chad Ochocinco did not do anything he did that got people upset. He was hacked.

Painting by Jim Cooke