Jerry Rice Has Reached This Point In His Career

" Was in hotel bar lobby where Jerry Rice was having a few beverages and when he walks by a woman says “That’s the guy from “Dancing with the Stars”." [Sports Radio Interviews]

Colts Fans Have Absolutely No Cajones

Here's the situation: Four amounts left on the board on the game show Deal or No Deal (NFL Edition!). One is for $1 million, and the other three are for $10,000 or less. What amount does your case hold? George Barnes here can sell his case for $189,000 — but if he does, he'll lose out on the million that may be within. What do you do? You soldier on and hold out for the million, right? Come on, you're wearing a Peyton Manning jersey, which means that you have nerves of steel! Be strong, George! Just like your Colts! NO DEAL! Would George be the show's first millionaire? The case is opened, and ... More »

Watch Jerry Rice Crank It, Watch Jerry Rice Roll ...

Watch Jerry Rice crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat ho! I have to admit, I was impressed at how quickly Rice seemed to pick up the steps. Maybe that Dancing With the Stars bull-shit was worth it after all. And hey, is Patrick Ewing Jr. a certified Soulja Boy dance instructor or something? I sure hope Ewing Sr. can do this. More »

Unfortunately, It Appears Emmitt's Going To Be On This Show For A While

Last night, Emmitt Smith continued his inevitable decline into post-athlete career depression by "shining" on "Dancing With The Stars," impressing the judges with his ... aw, jeez, we can't even type this without feeling bad about ourselves and everything about sports. More »

Jerry Rice's Tragic Downward Spiral

Our continued sympathy for legendary wide receiver Jerry Rice and the incredible difficulty he's having dealing with post-football life is well-documented, but it hit a new level today: It appears Rice, in a Rodman-esque publicity ploy, will appear on the second season of "Dancing With The Stars." More »

Somebody PLEASE Let Jerry Rice Be Your Fifth Receiver

Now that Jerry Rice is retired from football, he's not going to spend all of his time simply getting "massages": He's now going to be on reality shows. Rice, along with Bo Jackson, Jennie Finch and Karl Malone, will appear on Spike TV's "Pros Vs. Joes" starting in April. More »

Jerry Rice Refuses To Go Gently

We're actually starting to feel kind of bad for Jerry Rice. The guy's very possibly the best player in NFL history and, now that he has been kicked off three teams and has an opportunity to retire gracefully, he's still desperate to play some more. When asked on the CBS pregame show last Sunday what he would do if a team called him to play for them, Rice said, "I'm out the door," Rice said. "I'm on that team. Without a doubt." More »

Jerry Rice Deep-Tissues His Way Into the Sunset

We would like to say "happy trails" to future Hall of Fame receiver Jerry Rice, who retired yesterday after realizing the Broncos actually expected him to run routes, catch passes and occassionally block this season. We salute Rice on his long career, particularly the work he did while hiding in a brothel's bathroom during a police raid. Good luck, Jerry; here's an easy guide to how to spend the first few days of your retirement. Many happy endings to you ... More »

About Last Night ...

• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... More »

Some Helpful Advice For Jerry Rice

The official word is in: Jerry Rice will play for the Denver Broncos next season. To help Jerry get around in his new digs, knowing his past proclivities, we helpfully provide him a sampling of area businesses. More »

Jerry Rice: Will Catch For Food

SI's Peter King has quite the scoop in his Monday Morning Quarterback column today: Jerry Rice's agent is begging an NFL team — any NFL team — to hire him. His agent Jim Steinberg sent a fax to every team that said: More »