Deadspin
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mlb
Don't Like Your Starting Pitcher? Sell Him On eBay
His value is estimated at $100,000, so for $.01 on a joke eBay auction, Suppan is a steal. Disclaimer: "No Harms was made to Brewers, Fans, Suppan, Hall and any other animal while making and publishing this add." [HRDerby]
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By Ben CohenComment by Gourmet Spud: ...while making and publishing this add. The seller was going to proofread, but got distracted by a ladybug. 1 Responses | Other threads
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ryan braun
REMETEE Owner Passes Up Opportunity To Humiliate Desperate Women On National Television
Fact: Ryan Braun was asked to be on "The Bachelor." Fact: He said 'no thanks.' [Wisn.com]
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By DAULERIOComment by BCZF: Braun makes Cards fans sad, and this makes me very happy! Douchebag is spelled P U J O L S 1 Responses | Other threads
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mlb
A Match Made In Barley And Hops
"Hi fellow brewer fans, I am getting married in August and since both of us are diehard crew fans, we are having a brewers themed wedding." Stop right there. Where are you registered and should I bring bottles or cans? [Wrigleyville23]
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Comment by Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan: Brant Brown would be the ring bearer, but that guy fucking drops everything. 6 Responses | Other threads
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mlb
Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]
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Comment by shea_guevara: I didn't know the Brewers were managed by Henry Gibson. 7 Responses | Other threads
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whimsy
Brewers Fan Saves Bikini Girl From Rogue Home Run Ball
Imagine a young woman innocently sunbathing at a baseball game, when a vicious home run ball comes rocketing toward her unsuspecting frame, with nothing but a bikini top to defend herself? What do you do?! More »
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Comment by Sarcastro: That's nice for her noggin and all, but I maintain that anyone older than 13 who takes a glove to... 11 Responses | Other threads
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cc sabathia
The Sabathia Subway Series Has Begun
Both the Mets and Yankees believe that they have one more large object to intsall in their brand new ballparks, and it ain't a deep fryer; although it will consume many, many cheese fries. Today is the day that teams can begin negotiating with free agents from other teams, and both of New York's resident MLB baseball squads want CC Sabathia in the worst way. More »
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Comment by formerly Chief Wahoo: Sabathia and Manny. Goddamned reserve clause. 3 Responses | Other threads
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live blogs
NLDS Game 2: Phillies-Brewers
On the left, it's CC Sabathia. On the right, it's Brett Myers. The Phillies want that delicious 2-0 lead in the NLDS, and the Brewers want to go back to Milwaukee with at least one game dominated by hops and barley. She's jump, she's jump, she's jump, she's in my head.
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By Matt SussmanComment by Craig Eshericks Mustache: So where do we talk/rip apart/shit all over Simmons's latest jeremiad on Manny? 22 Responses | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
Baby Sees First Brewers' Playoff Game, Cries, Spits Up
Award for most hardcore baseball fan, NL Central, goes to Niki O'Connor of Milwaukee. Not only did she walk to Miller Park while nine months pregnant to see the Brewers play the Cubs on the last day of the regular season, but she went into labor during the game, and refused to leave. The fun began when Ryan Braun hit a two-run homer in the eighth to give the Brewers a 3-1 lead. More »
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Comment by Doyle McPoyle: You guys have only mentioned the Mets not making the playoff 17 times today. I appreciate the restraint! 2 Responses | Other threads
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philadelphia phillies
Carlos Ruiz Just Can't Get Any Respect
Poor Carlos Ruiz. Sure, the squatty Phillies catcher has been an offensive liability all season, but he was one of the only players to get an actual hit yesterday without the aid of shoddy Brewers' defense. Still, the man affectionately known as "CHOOCH" by his teammates was the victim of an unfortunate typo on yesterday's TBS broadcast. Those of you attending CBP for tonight's game should adjust your Ruiz fanclub signage accordingly. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Jefferson Tardship: With a batting average that dismal, hopefully he can lay a sacrifice cunt to move the runners over. 3 Responses | Other threads
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philadelphia phillies
Not A Bad Way to Spend a Wednesday Afternoon in the Rain
One jumbo hot dog. One cheeseburger. One heat lamp Schmitter. Seven beers. 1-0. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Dr. Michael Mancini: Hi, DUAN. @Yostal: any word on deadspin fantasy hockey this season? The Defending Champion is interested. 18 Responses | Other threads
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emeritus
NLDS Preview: Phillies Vs. Brewers
At a certain level, it has to be tempting for Brewers manager Dale Sveum to just start C.C. Sabathia every game of this series. Obviously, that's not actually feasible, but who cares about Sabathia's future? The Brewers are losing him anyway. Ride the guy until he dies. Let the Yankees pay the price three years from now.
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By Will LeitchComment by waymorefunner: An open letter to Will Leitch, Albert Pujols, Tony LaRussa and Cardinals nation: It has come to our attention that during... 3 Responses | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
Prince Fielder Would Like To Invite You To Milwaukee's Erotic Playoff-Clinching Festivities
Perhaps the most joyful of playoff entrants this year are the Milwaukee Brewers, who just a couple weeks ago were in the midst of an epic free-fall out of wild card contention. Ned Yost was shown the door, Dale Sveum moved over to the manager's stoop (and didn't wave anyone home from the dugout), their bats woke up, and C.C. Sabathia continued his difference-making pitching performances that appear well worth the price of Matt LaPorta's future excellence. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Yellow Tail Swine: That picture is quite possibly the most disturbing that I will ever see. 3 Responses | Other threads
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MLB
Mets Close Out Shea as Losers; Brewers Go Wild
CC Sabathia, Milwaukee's big time mid-season acquisition, stepped up on the final day of the season to help the Brewers clinch the National League Wild Card spot with a win over the Cubs. Ryan Braun was once again the hero as his 2 run homer in the 8th put them ahead for good. The Brew Crew clinched a playoff birth roughly 45 minutes after their win as the Mets bullpen did what it has been doing all season long: blowing games.
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Comment by GW06: While I'm at it, and since I'm already executed, the reason it's not like Leitch in 06 is because people... 5 Responses | Other threads
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NL Roundup
Strange Brew: Ryan Braun, Of All People, Keeps Milwaukee In The Chase
• Brewers 5, Pirates 1 (10 innings). Brew Crew Ball called it: This morning is the appropriate time for the untucking of shirts. Come on, untuck 'em! Wait ... is that, Brewers underwear? Oh Jesus. Well, tuck it back in, I guess. Ryan Braun was hitting .198 in September, with one home run and five RBI; not the most likely candidate to wind up as the hero. But his walkoff grand slam with two out in the bottom of the 10th gave the Brewers their fourth straight win, providing a moment of delirium for a Miller Park crowd which had been conditioned not to expect that kind of thing. Losing 15 of 19 to start the month will do that. But the Brewers stayed tied with the Mets for the wild-card lead, and all things are still possible. Rickie Weeks led off the bottom of the 10th with a single off Jesse Chavez, and Jason Kendall bunted him to second. Ray Durham was walked intentionally, Chavez struck out Mike Cameron, and Craig Counsell walked, and setting up Braun’s heroics. More »
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Comment by CardedForDissent: Does anybody know the tie-breaking procedure if the Phils/Mets tie for the East and Phils/Mets/Brewers tie for the WC? 5 Responses | Other threads
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new york mets
The Mets Take One Step Closer To Inevitable Implosion
This is going to be an interesting, rain-soaked weekend in baseball for the Northeast's playoff-challenged teams. Last night's Mets loss was just...wow. After switching over to ESPN to watch the game once the Phillies got completely waxed by the Braves, I was fully prepared to root for the Bastard Mets to fail miserably. But, jeez, even as Phillies fan, who only wishes for the Mets to fade into oblivion in the most catastrophic way possible, I have to admit that, God, THAT was painful. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by BigTenObsession: Whoever sent that e-mail is a complete douchebag. You openly root against the Mets even after the owner of the... 5 Responses | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
Brewers Bid Adieu To NL Central Race
This photo is from Tuesday, but it speaks volumes for today, as the Brewers lost to the Cubs, 7-6 in 12 innings, to finally, slowly slip underneath the surface of the cold waters of the National League Central and sink to their demise. I feel your pain, Milwaukee; I, too, thought this might be your year. But with the loss, the Brewers fall to 9 games behind the Cubs, and that's like losing your hat overboard off the Lincoln Ferry. Man, that hat is gone. More »
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Comment by J-No: I am still glowing from yesterday's win. Today, not so much though. 6 Responses | Other threads
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MLB Closer
Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three weeks but this turn of events may finally cool them off. Not only does Houston have to deal with a major catastrophe but to pile it on a bit more they have to play as the “home” team less than a 90 minute drive from Chicago. More »
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Comment by DGonSouthCap: They move an Astros series to Milwaukee? There wasn't any place closer? Like Arlington, Tampa, Atlanta, St. Louis, Kansas City,... 1 Responses | Other threads
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MLB Closer
Jim Edmonds Jogs La Russa's Memory
Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds has gotten past the drama of being traded from the Cardinals in the offseason. Or maybe not. After refusing to discuss his former manager, Tony La Russa, with the media, Edmonds proceeded to go two for four, both hits going yard in a 3-2 win over his ex-team. The game stretched to a tedious eleven innings with Cubs reliever Bob Howry getting the win. The loss was handed to the Cardinals Ryan Franklin with a bases loaded single by Henry Blanco to bring in the winning run. More »
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Comment by V for Vishnu: @KazMatsuisAnalFissure: Well, I guess they were pretty impressed with his brilliant performances last season in the playoffs. more » | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
The Brewers Imploding Late In The Season? That's Odd
Well, it's the first week in August; time for the annual scuffle that marks the beginning of the end for the Milwaukee Brewers. Last year it was manager Ed Yost and catcher Johnny Estrada going at it. And one year later almost to the day, Prince Fielder pounces on pitcher Manny Parra in the dugout and has to be physically restrained (video following the jump). Reds win, 6-3. See you next August, Brewers' fans!
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Comment by Spike Vrusho: Someone should write a book about these baseball fights. more » | Other threads
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cc sabathia
CC Sabathia Supports Print Media
That's quite an ad taken out by CC Sabathia in today's Cleveland Plain Dealer, thanking Clevelandities "for 10 great years," for their love and support, etc., etc. Also I think there are some movie reviews in there, and today's Dilbert (newspaper space is at a premium these days). More »
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Comment by EricStrattonRushChairman: @Creepy Old Man: Golic said "Clevelandite" the other day even though he's from there. It's Clevelander, and I do... more » | Other threads
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mlb closer
The Brewers Pull Even With The Cubs
Ryan Braun did most of the heavy lifting, but once again it was Bill Hall providing the winning hit. Hall's RBI single in the eight inning put the Brewers out in front of the Astros who ultimately fell 6-4. Eric Gagne picked up the win in relief before Salomon Torres closed the door in the ninth for the save. The Cubs and Brewers now sit tied atop the Central standings with the two set to meet for a crucial four game series in Milwaukee starting tomorrow. More »
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By KOGODComment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_Trail_of_Cheez-Its: @Le Kangourou de Kataroo: And two of them are Jews, so you know going in they're circumsized. As well,... more » | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
Man Loses Phillies-Brewers Bet and Goes Homeless For a Week
Two D.C. area men bet over which team would finish with more wins in 2007, the Phillies or the Brewers. The Phillies finished with more wins. As a result, Chris Jollay, a 36 year old Brewers fan, lost and lived as a homeless man for a week. Luckily, D.C. news WUSA-9 is all over it: According to the bet, Jollay was allowed to carry one bag of items. Christman approved all of the items. Jollay says, he carried 12 power bars and 100-calorie snacks, a disposable camera, $20 dollars, contact lens, a marker and pen, and a bottle of Jack Daniels. "I brought a big bottle of that, just to pass the time. Especially when it was cold...made the nights go faster." What could Jollay have won if the Brewers had finished with more wins than the Phillies? Per WUSA 9: "I would have gotten to move in with [Christman's] wife. She'd have to cook me dinner and I'd go to her slumber parties and [Christman would] move into my place," Jollay says. Touche. Local man loses bet and goes homeless [WUSA 9] Jollay goes homeless [Steve Heckman Online] Brewers fan loses bet; forced to go homeless [SportsbyBrooks] -
mlb closer
These Are Clapping Dogs, Rhythmic Dogs, First-Pitching Dogs, House Dogs, Street Dogs
Uno, who I believe was named for the card game I never bothered to learn, continues to blaze trails for doggykind. Back in February, he became the first beagle ever to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show (though Snoopy remains the first to be a World War I flying ace). Yesterday, he "threw" out the first pitch at the Brewers-Reds game yesterday. Nice mouthball, pooch. Sidney Ponson's gotta try that one. It was "believed to be the inaugural first pitch by a dog in Brewers history." You mean people aren't tracking these things? Shake a leg, Elias Sports Bureau! More »
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Comment by Luke N Atmaguchi: Loved the dog's interview during the pregame show. Announcer: "Who, in your opinion, is the greatest slugger of all time?" Uno: "Ruth!" Announcer:... more » | Other threads
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cc sabathia
Wisconsin Welcomes Carsten Charles Sabathia
I didn't know this, but apparently a local restaurant chain dustributes discounted hamburgers each time the Brewers score five or more runs. Not surprisingly, this is causing a bigger stir in Milwaukee than the arrival of CC Sabathia from the Indians ... but CC is a close second. More »
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Comment by lilwillie heart clicks GM: 45,000+ fans at last nights game can't be wrong. CC's beer belly fits right in with all of us in... more » | Other threads
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pining for darrell porter
On Vincent Gallo, Black Gallagher And Rotten.com Videos
This video has been online for about a year now, but I just saw it for the first time today. It's brutal, punishing and so uncalled for that it should come with a Tipper Gore warning. It's from 2001, when my immortal beloved Rick Ankiel was still struggling with his "control" and some minor league fans were letting him have it, and then some. It's like seeing other kids picking on your son; it's impossible to look at. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Pardon_The_Bad_Post: Come on will. you walked in here unprepared and arrogant. you were sloppy. and i know why. you got... more » | Other threads
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purple prose
The Beery Nine Over The Siamese From The West
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of the vaunted sportswriters of yesteryear. This week: The Brewers' win over the Twins on Saturday. More »
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By robert weintraubComment by 1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes: @Secret Identity: +10 @BigJimSlade: Yeah, but he called Paul Pierce Kobe's "opposite number". I don't know if the metric system has... more » | Other threads
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vegetarians
So, Is Vegetarianism Really Hurting Prince Fielder?
Much has been made out of Prince Fielder's vegetarianism, and whether or not it actually affects his performance on the field. Reporter Pete Croatto investigated the story. More »
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By Pete CroattoComment by EARMUFFS: What i want to know is, are vegetarians getting enough portions of the cheez doodle food group? more » | Other threads
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julian tavarez
Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks mostly to the Cardinals' magnanimous decision to let Red Sox fans into Busch Stadium for free for the last few innings of the 2004 World Series. (We're so nice in St. Louis.) But also: We've both ridden the Julian Tavarez crazy train. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Johnny LaRue: @supermike5alive: just flying pizza slices. use two hands! more » | Other threads
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behold, the power of blogs
Are The Brewers Going To Fire Ned Yost Today? One Fiesty Little Blog Says Yes
A small political site called Badger Blogger reported late Sunday that Ned Yost is likely to be fired by the Brewers this afternoon. Badger Blogger says it's unconfirmed, but they have it from a source "close to the team." A blog called Badger Blogger has sources? Cool. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel doesn't think so, however. More »
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Comment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @bj316: Former Cardinal, so it only follows... /brown-nosing the Deadspin Editorial more » | Other threads
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miller park
Our Field Trip To Miller Park
We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are chubbier in the Midwest. Not that there's anything wrong with that. More » -
free prostate exams
Once Again, As Long As It's Not Crosspromoted With Bat Day
We wrote about this last year, but as long as they're having it, we're going to promote it. Get thee to Miller Park, ASAP, folks: It's free prostate exams at Miller Park day! Turn your head and cough for Dr. Bernie Brewer! More » -
jeff weaver forever
Jeff Weaver Finds Himself A Home
Who says Scott Boras has lost it? Sure, he bombed out the Alex Rodriguez negotiations, and he ended up putting Kyle Lohse, the supposed top free agent pitching name, in St. Louis at an extreme discount. But look at what he's done with Jeff Weaver! More »
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By LeitchComment by WydrasArmy: He will love his time in Nashville...which will be probably about 6 months... more » | Other threads
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this is why you should always wear two pairs of socks
Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by calmasacucumber: I was actually at/near all of the parties mentioned...and yes they were charging cash. more » | Other threads
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milwaukee brewers
I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about. More »
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By sussmanComment by Sex Fabregas: @PeteJayhawk: My parents had moved by the time I was born, however I did own a baby sweatshirt from their... more » | Other threads
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bless gagne
Eric Gagne, A Still Life
Perhaps our favorite ridiculous conspiracy theory about the Mitchell Report was that Sen. Mitchell, a Red Sox fan, was somehow attempting to stack the deck by ignoring potential Red Sox juicers. Not just that, but he happened to nail the one guy Sox fans hated the most at the time: Eric Gagne. Well, if you watched that Brewers-Cubs game yesterday, if Gagne is on steroids, man, he needs some new ones. More »
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By LeitchComment by icanthelpitimfromboston: Milwaukee Brewers 2008 Team Leaders WINS LEADER » E. GAGNE E. Gagne WINS 1 ERA 27.00 SO 1 IP 1 Thanks, Milwaukee more » | Other threads
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mlb closer
Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacrifice fly in the 10th that sealed the Cubs fate and kickstarted their 100-year anniversary of ineptitude on just the right note. More » -
think outside the bun
Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again. More » -
2008 division previews
Your NL Central "Preview"
OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site. More »
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By LeitchComment by FightTiger: 1. A Century of Futility2. Mmmmm... Beer3. Surprisingly Decent4. First Pitch OF THE SEASON Should Still be in Cincy5. Back... more » | Other threads
milwaukee brewers
New York, 5:05 PM
Fri Jul 10
27 posts in the last 24 hours
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