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Milwaukee Brewers
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miller park
free prostate exams
Once Again, As Long As It's Not Crosspromoted With Bat Day
We wrote about this last year, but as long as they're having it, we're going to promote it. Get thee to Miller Park, ASAP, folks: It's free prostate exams at Miller Park day! Turn your head and cough for Dr. Bernie Brewer! More »
jeff weaver forever
Jeff Weaver Finds Himself A Home
Who says Scott Boras has lost it? Sure, he bombed out the Alex Rodriguez negotiations, and he ended up putting Kyle Lohse, the supposed top free agent pitching name, in St. Louis at an extreme discount. But look at what he's done with Jeff Weaver! More »
this is why you should always wear two pairs of socks
Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers. More »
milwaukee brewers
I'm Your Beer Bong Man, Stop Me As I'm Passing By
Last year on Opening Day, the Milwaukee Brewers faithful unveiled the beer pong orgy. This year they've made it a more intimate occasion, ensuring that each and every Brewers fan gets adequately blasted. Bringing the love back into binge drinking, now that's what it's all about. More »
bless gagne
Eric Gagne, A Still Life
Perhaps our favorite ridiculous conspiracy theory about the Mitchell Report was that Sen. Mitchell, a Red Sox fan, was somehow attempting to stack the deck by ignoring potential Red Sox juicers. Not just that, but he happened to nail the one guy Sox fans hated the most at the time: Eric Gagne. Well, if you watched that Brewers-Cubs game yesterday, if Gagne is on steroids, man, he needs some new ones. More »
mlb closer
Cubs Still Somehow Manage To Fukudome Themselves
It all looked good for the Cubs, thanks to the mighty bat of Kosuke Fukudome, who went 3-for-3 with the game-tying home run off the hairy useless mess that now inhabits former lights-out closer Eric Gagne. But the Cubs still lost to the Milwaukee Brewers 4-3 in 10 innings. Bobby Howry gave up a sacrifice fly in the 10th that sealed the Cubs fate and kickstarted their 100-year anniversary of ineptitude on just the right note. More »
think outside the bun
Um, Someone Tell The Italian Sausage That He's Doing It Wrong
Hey, they told me that there would be no food allowed on the ski lift. Thank you Home Run Derby, for making us laugh at costumed baseball mascots attempting winter sports once again. More »
2008 division previews
OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site. More »
Your NL Central "Preview"
OK, now before you start hollering, no, we did not pick the Cardinals to win the division. And yes, that's the first time that's happened since we started this here site. More »
erin andrews
Brewers Fans Are Focused, Dedicated
This photo is somewhat old, apparently, but it's the first I've seen of it. Brewers fans, so used to disappointment, will take their excitement where they can get it I suppose. Later, at home, Erin Andrews found two tiny burn marks on the seat of those slacks. More »
baseball season preview
Baseball Season Preview: Milwaukee Brewers
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all.
Every weekday until the start of the season, a different writer will preview his/her team. We asked a gaggle of writers, from the Web, from print, from books, to tell us, in as many or as little words as they need, Where Their Team Stands. This is not meant to be factual, or dispassionate, or even logical: We just asked them to riff on why they love their team so much, or what their team means to them, or whatever.
Today: The Milwaukee Brewers. Your author is Dan Kois.
Dan Kois edits Vulture, New York magazine's arts and culture blog. He maintains that the Brewers would have won it all last year if they'd only grown a few more mustaches. His words are after the jump.
More »
that crazy national league
Your National League Clusterphooey
All due respect to the playoffs next week, but we can't fathom a much more exciting turkeyshoot than the National League this weekend. We're three days away from the end of the season, and not a single team has clinched, with seven still in the chase. It's insane. More »
daily closer
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tuesday, propelling Milwaukee past St. Louis, 9-1, pulling the Brewers within two games of first-place Chicago. Fielder became the youngest player ever to hit 50 in a season, and afterwards had a few choice phrases for his dad, Cecil. More »
Bring back Bernie Brewer's beer barrel and beer mug! [Baseball Think Factory]
daily closer
New Power Generation
If only he had hit a 'Glam Slam' ... Prince Fielder's NL-leading and franchise record 46th homerun gave the Brewers an edge as Milwaukee beat Cincinnati, 5-3, to gain some ground in NL Central race. Milwaukee sits a game behind the Cubs, who split two against the Cardinals. More »
daily closer
Scrape The Brewers Off The Outfield Wall; This Race Is Tied
Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't that be loverly? It's like the 49ers and Cardinals last night, where you ask yourself, um, who wants this? It's addition by attrition. Well, while you guys are working this out, I'll just go get a sandwich. More »
daily closer
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring if everyone discovers his secret identity. Prince Fielder wielding The Bat (And Stomach) Of Destiny. Aside from the Padres and Diamondbacks waltzing in the NL West, the Central is the only place to be right now. Plus, remember this guy? It's a nonstop party! More »
NL Central, What Would We Do Without You, You Crazy Nut?
You mocked the National League's Central Division. Called it the race nobody wanted. But now it's September, and it's the most compelling race in baseball, with three teams within a game of each other atop the standings. You've got Carlos Zambrano pouting into his sippy cup. Rick Ankiel not caring if everyone discovers his secret identity. Prince Fielder wielding The Bat (And Stomach) Of Destiny. Aside from the Padres and Diamondbacks waltzing in the NL West, the Central is the only place to be right now. Plus, remember this guy? It's a nonstop party! More »
Brewers fans sift through the wreckage. [Chuckie Hacks]
