So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear.

Seriously, the Yankees โ€” as well as a lot of MLB teams โ€” have all kinds of nasty team-branded wear. How bad? Here's their terrifying poncho.

oor weather or not, though, I simply cannot envision any person possessing marginal pride and/or dignity putting this sucker on in the presence of other humans. For starters, it appears that the bottom of the poncho was cut by a drunk one-handed man or woman with electric scissors that misfired, resulting in a jagged, un-hemmed edge. Additionally, that sweet V-shaped red border dividing the white top with the blue lower half appears to be directly folks' eyesight towards the wearer's belly button, which is always sexy. Finally, let's take a gander at the "arms" of this poncho. This thing is clearly intended to be worn only by people with stumps for arms, which really isolates a grand portion of the potential market.

A-Rod, of course, owns five.

It's The Annual NON-DENOMINATIONAL HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE!!! [Yankees Chick]