You May Now Commence Swooning

Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved.

Thomas Edward Brady Jr. will play his first real football game in twelve months, which means this season—unlike 2008's unholy abomination—will actually count. The prophecies have spoken of the "offense that will not huddle" and how the father of a handsome child shall smite that enemy with accurate mid-range passing. Joy unto the world for all days! It's almost like I had forgotten how to breathe and he is the giant asthma inhaler that will clear the bronchial tubes of my soul. Yes. I believe that metaphor works.

Then after after that—Chargers at Raiders! I predict that Tuesday Morning's America will have had such a good night's sleep, the health care crisis will be solved before lunch.

Knee injury behind him, Tom Brady determined to return Patriots to glory [Boston Herald] Brady finally confirms Bundchen's pregnancy [SF Gate]

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