A-Rod Apologizes To Fans With Dopey Handwritten Letter

This is wonderful. Alex Rodriguez has released a handwritten(!) letter in which he apologizes to all of his fans for, uh, whatever it is we've all decided he needs to apologize for. This idea was surely thought up by some overpaid brand consultant. "Alex, our data shows that baseball fans associate handwriting with authenticity. We believe that apologizing this way will increase your Q Score by at least 23 percent."

Anyway, here's a link to the handwritten letter, and here's what it says:

To the Fans,

I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to my suspension for the 2014 season. I regret that my actions made the situation worse than it needed to be. To Major League Baseball, the Yankees, the Steinbrenner family, the Players Association and you, the fans, I can only say I'm sorry.

I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why and that's on me. It was gracious of the Yankees to offer me the use of Yankee Stadium for this apology, but I decided that next time I am in Yankee Stadium, I should be in pinstripes doing my job.

I served the longest suspension in the history of the league for PED use. The Commissioner has said the matter is over. The Players Association has said the same. The Yankees have said the next step is to play baseball.

I'm ready to put this chapter behind me and play some ball.

This game has been my single biggest passion since I was a teenager. When I go to Spring Training, I will do everything I can to be the best player and teammate possible, earn a spot on the Yankees and help us win.

Sincerely,

Alex

As we've said before, Alex Rodriguez doesn't have a damn thing to apologize for.