Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

About Last Night ...

What you missed while watching medics wheel George Allen out on a gurney screaming "Turn those machines back on! Turn those machines back on!"
• NBA: Chris Bosh, 29 points, 14 rebounds and a game-winning three-pointer (wha ...?) as Raptors beat 76ers 106-104.
• Golf: Shanghai Surprise ... turns out in China, it's not the Year of the Tiger. It's the Year of the Jyoti Randhawa (we think that's a fish).
• NHL: "Give me a C, a bouncy C ... Dominik Hasek, he's a goalie with clout; don't expect to win, 'cause he'll shut you out; he plays for the Red Wings, they've won seven straight; I can't remember if I just ate ... la la la, dee dee dee, and whatever the hell else you want to put in there ..."


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