Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

About Last Night

What you missed while frantically calling out WHERE THE HELL IS CARL MONDAY? ...
• NBA: Mavericks win eighth straight, Suns claim 14th ... remainder of league affixes white hankie to a curtain rod and comes out with hands up.
• Tennis: Maria Sharapova advances to Australian Open semis with 7-6 (5), 7-5 win over opponent whose name has vowels in very odd places.
• College basketball: Illini defeat Hoosiers to return earth to normal orbit ...


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