bubbaprog Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mulleted Weightlifter Passes Out After Hoisting Mighty Weight

Finnish weightlifter Milko Tokola was very excited after successfully clean-and-jerking 175 kilograms today—so excited that he passed out:...

Patrick Reed Would Like You To "Put The Fucking Camera Down"

How is U.S. golfer Patrick Reed’s Olympics going so far? He’s tied for 19th place so far, and seems more than little annoyed at a spectator shooting photos of him. Stay sane, Patty Reed....

Here's Simone Manuel's Medal Ceremony, Since NBC Didn't Air It [Updates]

NBC couldn’t be arsed to show you Simone Manuel’s monumental medal ceremony after becoming the first black American woman to win an individual swimming event, as they felt it was more important to air seven-hour-old footage of Russians doing gymnastics badly. Here, then, is Manuel (with Canadian Pen...

Simone Manuel Becomes First Black American Female Swimmer To Win Individual Gold Medal 

Simone Manuel swam a blistering final 50 in tonight’s 100m freestyle to earn a gold medal alongside Canadian Penny Oleksiak, who swam an identical Olympic-record 52.70 in the event. Both surpassed world record-holder Cate Campbell, who led the race after the first 50 meters and ended up missing the ...

CBC Calls Entire Race Confusing Ryan Lochte For Michael Phelps [Update]

Michael Phelps just won his 22nd gold medal by dominating the field—which included his rival and countryman Ryan Lochte—in the 200 individual medley. Viewers in Canada, though, were led to believe Lochte led the race and that Phelps had fallen short. “Finally, he’s going to do it! Ryan Lochte is goi...

Patriots Rookie Malcolm Mitchell Suffers Grotesque Elbow Injury [Graphic]

Preseason football is stupid, exhibit #9000: Malcolm Mitchell, the Patriots’ fourth-round wide receiver pick out of Georgia, suffered a really awful-looking elbow injury in the second quarter of New England’s game against the Saints tonight. What a sport!...

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Buccaneers' New Kicker, Whom They Took In The Second Round, Misses First Career Extra Point

The Buccaneers traded up to take kicker Roberto Aguayo in the second round, because they suck. Eight minutes into Tampa Bay’s first preseason game tonight against the Eagles, they scored a touchdown—setting up Aguayo’s first professional extra point. Which he missed....

BBC Equestrian Announcers Sound Very Horny For Dressage

Yes, yes, BBC dressage announcers were very taken with Charlotte Dujardin’s performance today atop Valegro, which is a horse and not a black market allergy medication. We are not sure if your announcers were wearing pants during this broadcast. It is possible that they were not, or perhaps wished th...

CBC Announcer On Hot Mic: "That Little 14-Year-Old From China...Went Out Like Stink, Died Like A Pig"

CBC is apologizing (or, in Canadian, ‘apologising’) after swimming analyst Byron McDonald spoke his mind about 14-year-old Chinese swimmer Ai Yanhan, whose performance in the 4x200m freestyle relay final allowed Canada to claim bronze in the U.S. dominated race....

Internal Email, Texts Reveal NDSU President Endorsed Banning Media Outlets

When NDSU president Dean Bresciani rescinded a ban on news organizations covering the Bison unless they paid for media rights last week, he condemned the policy—stating that he was “profoundly disappointed” in it. Internal emails and texts acquired by SayAnythingBlog.com’s Rob Port reveal that Bresc...

A Legitimate Plan To Restore Tug Of War As An Olympic Event

Tug of war was contested as an official Olympic event from 1900 until 1920, when it was culled from the Summer Games program alongside sports like equestrian vaulting (jumping onto—and then off of—a horse), figure skating, and ice hockey. We think it’s time tug of war came back to the Olympics, and ...

What Do You Think Mr. T Is Daydreaming About? Draw It Here.

While cleaning up around my office this week, I found my old Mr. T coloring book from back in the 80's. Now, I am offering you the opportunity to exhibit your artistic talents. What do you think Mr. T is daydreaming about? Draw it here:...

Watch This Fiji Rugby Player Level A Kiwi With A Huge Stiffarm, In Extreme Slow Motion

Fiji eliminated New Zealand from the men’s rugby sevens bracket with a 12-7 quarterfinal win today, with the first score coming on the heels of this massive stiffarm delivered by Toulon’s Josua Tuisova. This is the good stuff....

The Diving Venue Water Has Not Improved

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Green Death Spreads To Olympics Water Polo Pool

Algae bloomed overnight in the diving pool at Rio’s Maria Lenk Aquatics Centre, and it was only a matter of time that it spread to the competition pool next door—which, from watching today’s water polo action, it has....

Hannah Storm Announces Live On <i>SportsCenter</i> That John Saunders Is Dead

Longtime ESPN personality John Saunders is dead, as reported live this morning on SportsCenter by anchor Hannah Storm....

Oh Snap

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Michael Phelps Drops Tombstone On Chad Le Clos, Wins 20th Gold Medal

Chad le Clos, who took advantage of Michael Phelps’s collapse in the 200 butterfly four years ago, poked the bear last night. He didn’t make it to the medal stand, and Phelps won his 20th gold. Rest in peace....

Something Unfortunate Has Happened In The Olympic Diving Venue

The water at the Olympics diving pool in Rio looked lovely and clear for yesterday’s men’s synchronized event. It looks less lovely for the women today, owing to what we believe is an algae takeover....