dashiell-bennett-old Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steve Smith Actually Broke His Arm Playing Flag Football. Against Adults.
Despite initially trying to blame his broken arm on roughhousing children—children!—it has become apparent that Carolina's All-Pro wideout actually injured himself trying to take over an adult rec league. That may be the saddest thing ever....
Did Manute Bol Coin The Phrase "My Bad"?
Well, maybe he didn't invent it (see also: Shakespeare, William), but he certainly helped popularize it among the NBA and its fans. That guy's death was a damn shame. [Language Log, via, via, via]...
North Korean Beatdown Broadcast Live To Confused Homeland
Emboldened by their soccer team's "triumph" over Brazil, North Korean state television actually allowed yesterday's "revenge" match against Portugal to be broadcast live to its citizens, many of whom may currently be wondering: "Is seven a lot of goals?"...
Ron Artest's Not-At-All Rushed Video For "Champions"
After tantalizing America with talk of his new hit song, Ron Artest had no choice but to throw together an "official" video for the song in a weekend. Worth the wait! [YouTube or download if you love piracy; Thanks, Michael]...
Fisherman Loses $900,000 Record Marlin Due To $5 Fishing License
A tournament fisherman caught an 883-pound blue marlin off North Carolina last week. That would have won him a $912,000 first prize, but one of the crew members on his boat didn't have a fishing license. So....disqualified. Oops....
Doctor Who Treats Football Players Accused Of Knowing Football Players
Canadian officials confiscated something labeled "NFL file folder" from the office of Anthony "Dorian Gray" Galea. That's right....a doctor kept detailed records of his patients! Can't wait until they find the file labeled "Butts I Injected With HGH." [ESPN]...
Los Angelenos Search For Championship Trophy Under Burning Cars
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Ohio's LeBron Begging Is Just Getting Sad Now
Saturday is LeBron James Appreciation Day in Akron, Ohio. Not scheduled to attend: LeBron James. Meanwhile, young children hope to win his heart with a flash mob. Just stop it right now....
Los Angeles Wins Their 16th NBA Title (Best Post-Game Interview Ever Update)
And Ron Artest helped! Then thanked his psychiatrist and pimped his new single. Classic. [Video via ABC; AP Photo]...
Yankee Stadium Crushes American Vuvuzela Craze Before It Begins
A 27-year-old Yankee fan brought a vuvuzela that he bought for $6 on the internet (ripoff) to the Stadium on Tuesday. He was kindly asked to leave. So I guess that settles it. [NYPost]...
Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....
Gus Johnson Mesmerized By The Sound Of Gus Johnson's Voice
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Philly Police Confiscate Gun From Marvin Harrison
Marvin Harrison is apparently still under the watchful eye of the Philadelphia PD as a traffic stop just three blocks from his garage turns up another 9-mm handgun that they will add to the investigation of the Dwight Dixon shooting....
Hey, More Realignment Rumors. Awesome.
Oh no, we're not done. The Texas League may have settled their little dust up, but Crazy Conference Chatter is not over. The Pac-11 still needs a 12th man and the Big East will apparently take whatever they can get....
How Badass Is Your Dad?
Reddit users are preparing for Father's Day by sharing tall tales about their dads. Unless yours killed him a bear when he was only three, you lose. [Reddit; Photo]...
Texas A&M AD Challenges Alum To Fight, Alum Sadly Doesn't Accept
Bill Byrne, athletic director at Texas A&M, made an embarrassing gaffe this week when he revealed himself to be a terribly old man who doesn't understand email. He should know by now that all internet threats are empty threats....
Sad Letter Closes The Door On ESPN Zone
The Times Square ESPN Zone could not even stay open two more days so that I could watch soccer on Friday morning. Pity the Midtown office jockeys who now have to show up to work on time. [Village Voice]...
Alexander Ovechkin Is Enjoying His Summer
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Albert Haynesworth Continues To Out-Haynesworth Himself
It seems that the NFL's most well-paid defensive lineman finds playing defensive lineman to be an unreasonable job requirement and wants to be traded—even though his stupidly gargantuan contract makes that impossible....
Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...