eifling Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Wire Story Gives Not A Single Shit About North Koreans
The Associated Press just published a story about Dennis Rodman's latest endorsement venture and his untethered blather about what good buds he is with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Read the whole thing here, if you have two minutes for an extra-large helping of starry-eyed banality. Here are ...
A Three-Man Front Is A Late-Game Defensive Formation For Suckers
The weekend, as I watched the absurd denouement of the Northwestern-Michigan game, something struck me as familiar — beyond the now-routine bumblefuckery that inspires the Wildcats to turn fourth-quarter leads into triple-overtime losses. No, it wasn't simply that Michigan drove in the dregs of game...
Derrick Rose Tweaks A Hammy, And Chicago Fans Freak
Late in the Bulls' win over the Cavaliers tonight, Derrick Rose went from his all-angles self to a version with an unsettling lack of verticality. Turns out the Chicago point guard, who spent all last year and much of the previous season mending a knee injury, merely tweaked his hamstring or somethi...
Buckeye's "Wipe The Field" Boast Is The Future Of FBS Shit-Talk
The biggest stones in college football today belong to Evan Spencer, who plays receiver for Ohio State and who just got his name written on wipeboards across the Midwest today. ESPN.com reported the lad said, in reference to top- and second-ranked Alabama and Florida State, "I'm a little biased. I t...
The Jubilance And Trauma Of Victory Displayed On One Tennis Court
Today in London a pair of Spaniards took the doubles finals of the ATP World Tour. The emotion David Marrero displays on the left? Triumph, of course. And Fernando Verdasco, on the right? Why, that's triumph as well, albeit laced with relief and exhaustion....
NCAA DQs Colgate Kid For A Year For Playing Church-League Hoops
The NCAA has truly been on a run of first-rate justice lately. It penalized reigning Heisman winner and shirtless mugshot male model Johnny Manziel 30 minutes of playing time for maybe just maybe getting paid cash money for signing autographs. It spelunked around the University of Miami's most sordi...
You Can Buy Michael Jordan's Chicagoland Mansion! (No, You Can't)
Nothing here to see but real estate porn of the highest order. Michael Jordan's selling his plush estate outside Chicago, at auction. Above is the tour video. It's 56,000 square feet on 7 acres and will cost you something on the order of $29 million — less than what Jordan earned in his final year w...
The Olympic Torch Is Going To Ooooouter Spaaaaaaaaace
Gee, this is swell, no? Fire in space! Olympic fire in space! Space men taking Olympic fire into space!...
NFL's Ace Parker, The Hall Of Fame's Only Centenarian, Dies
This is the trouble with living too long. You die too late....
It's A Bad Night To Be A Windshield In Boston
Bedlam in Beantown. Here's the dispatch from our man on the ground, Samer, rendered into singable lines through the atomizing magic of chat:...
After Waiting 95 Years, The Red Sox Win A World Series In Boston
The Red Sox vanquished America's Sweetheart tonight at Fenway Park, to win their third World Series in the past 10 years. But this was the first World Series Boston iced in Boston since 1918. How long ago was 1918? Here are all the things that have happened since then:...
Filmmakers, Strongman Star Of <em>Bending Steel</em> Talk Raw Strength
Lately I had the strange experience of voting among the jury of a documentary film festival's sports documentaries, and finding that my top three choices were nowhere among those the festival recognized. Big deal; tastes differ. Still, I couldn't figure how my top choice, Bending Steel, wasn't every...
Allen Iverson Finally Obeys Laws Of Nature, Officially Retires
Allen Iverson made his retirement official today, even though it's hard to know how, exactly, to define such a thing for him. Iverson, now 38, was never a professional basketball player so much as he was, foremost, an object in motion, tending always to stay in motion. If Iverson can be said to reti...