eifling Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When His Lady Friend's Braces Quashed Oral, Dr. J Impregnated Her
The scamps over at the New York Post's Page Six got ahold of a copy of Julius Erving's autobiography today, and immediately dredged up an unsavory bit of tid. Seems that Dr. J conceived one of his kids, the tennis pro Alexandra Stevenson, because her mother, Samantha Stevenson, took on a set of bear...
Bill Sharman Became A Legend For (And By) Thanking Everyone
Your mom might've told you to write thank-you notes once upon a time, and it seemed like such a chore, an exercise in obsequiousness. Typically, it was rote. Someone slides a sawbuck into a birthday card, you're condemned to scribble out a few lines of scripted treacle: Thank you so much for the mon...
Duke Wins At No. 14 Virginia Tech, May Not Totally Suck This Year
Blue Devils football, heretofore a model of futility, managed to roll into Blacksburg, Va., today and slip past a Virginia Team that was favored by almost two touchdowns. The 13-10 win made Duke bowl-eligible for a second straight year — a feat for a team that has played only nine bowl games, none o...
Florida State's 1st Quarter Against NC State Needed A Mercy Rule
After 13 minutes of football today, Florida State was beating North Carolina State 35-0. The game was over. Here's how that happened:...
Lightweight Loses, Celebrates Anyway By Standing On His Fist
The laughing lightweight you see in the background is Scott Jenkins, who went to 10-0 with his five-round takedown of Antonio Rodriguez (5-8-4) in Sheffield, England, on Saturday....
Last-Second 40-Yard Goal Sends HS Soccer Team To District Finals
With the score knotted at a goal apiece and the overtime clock dwindling, Aurora (Ohio) High School's Trever Wendel kicked a might-as-well prayer from about 40 yards out. Somehow it cleared the goalie and ducked the bar, and Aurora was off to the district finals....
Greg Oden Has Been Sighted Playing Professional Basketball
Tonight perpetual pine-rider Greg Oden, who was picked ahead of Kevin Durant in the 2007 NBA Draft, logged his first minutes in an NBA game since 2009. The Heat put him on the floor for almost four solid minutes. Oden, who was picked ahead of a guy who has scored more than 12,000 points in 460 caree...
NBA Finals Will Return To Boring Ol' 2-2-1-1-1 Format
After almost 30 years of using the 2-3-2 schedule in the Finals — giving the team with the worse record three straight home games — the NBA voted today to return to a schedule that would alternate venues for the final four games of a seven-game Finals. The 2-2-1-1-1 format is more "fair," according ...
William Harrison, Author Of Sports Dystopia <em>Rollerball</em>, Has Died
William Harrison, the author and screenwriter whose 1975 classic Rollerball semi-accurately foretold how the future of sport would suck, died Tuesday, just shy of his 80th birthday....
Rex Ryan's Players Hear "Rest Your Legs," Assume He Means No Sex
After losing to the inept Steelers, and on the eve of hosting the Patriots, Jets head coach Rex Ryan instructed his players this week to take it easy. Actually, the phrase the Daily News relayed from Josh Cribbs, quoting his coach, was "don't do nothing for your wife."...
St. Louis Cardinals' March To World Series Crown Delayed Somewhat
In what is surely a mere bump on the way to the third World Series title for St. Louis in the past seven years, the Cardinals did not beat the team they were playing Wednesday....
Police Arrest Confessed Killer Of Texas Fisherman Jimmy Johnson
Jimmy Johnson got shot dead by the good-for-nothing who was stealing from his bass boat in the parking lot of Motel 6 in Jackson, Mississippi....
The Fall Of Texas Track Coach Bev Kearney Required Awesome Hubris
Texas Monthly this week threw a Proustian 12,800 words at the sad, strange story of Bev Kearney, and if you manage to read the entire thing, because perhaps you've had a flight canceled or you're pulling a double shift in the parking garage tollbooth, you'll likely follow a winding trajectory in try...
Glum Pittsburgh Pirates Fans Still Grateful For Not-Awful Season
The Pittsburgh Pirates got bounced Wednesday from their first postseason trip in approximately forever, losing to the St. Louis Cardinals by a score of who gives a flying crap to you knew they'd find a way to piss this one away. Not like the Cardinals have won two World Series in the past seven year...