jordansargent Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Wanted To Suck, And The Injury Gods Have Obliged Them
The Cleveland Browns went into this season tanking about as openly as you’ll ever see in the NFL. With the front office now controlled by Ivy Leaguers, the Browns spent the offseason stockpiling draft picks—they drafted 14 players in June, all of whom made the 53-man roster, and have another dozen-p...
This Woman Actually Got Donald Trump To Shut The Fuck Up
Donald Trump is in Flint, Mich. today to broadcast that he is at least aware of the city’s ongoing clean water crisis—many, many months after it became a full-fledged disaster. Trump’s hastily arranged stopover has already been condemned by Flint’s mayor and its residents, and this afternoon he got ...
Colin Kaepernick Won
The big news out of the NFL this weekend wasn’t about who threw which touchdowns or which teams won which games. Under the thumb of Roger Goodell, the league has been maddeningly good at keeping the world focused on the events that happen in between the lines. Brain injuries, extra-judicial powers, ...
Amanda Knox's Boyfriend Is Here To Party Rock
Amanda Knox—aka Foxy Knoxy, the American student accused, convicted, and then acquitted (twice) of murdering her roommate Meredith Kercher in Italy in 2007—is in Toronto this weekend to promote a forthcoming Netflix documentary that reexamines the case. ...
If The NFL Is Worse Now, The Reason Why Is Obvious<em></em>
The examined hypothesis of Kevin Clark’s new article in The Ringer, about a belief within the NFL that the “on-field product” is becoming kinda shitty, is that the game is suffering because the league is getting drastically younger, which has led to players with underdeveloped skills and minds seein...
Jared Goff Looks Kinda Butt
The preseason is over now, and if you didn’t get a chance to catch any of first overall pick Jared Goff, you may have to wait around a while....
App State's Second Incredible Upset Was Thwarted By Their Own Scared Coach
We all know of Appalachian State for one reason, and as the fates would have it, they played Tennessee nine years to the day of the upset that turned the school into as household a name as any then-FCS program could imagine. App State almost certainly could have earned another myth-making win last n...
Huma Abedin Dumps Anthony Weiner After Third Sexting Scandal
Huma Abedin announced this morning that she is separating from her husband Anthony Weiner, a little over 12 hours after the New York Post revealed that the former congressman and New York mayoral candidate has been engaged in a year and a half-long texting relationship with an anonymous woman that f...
Is This Tristan Thompson's Dick Or What?
This afternoon, Tristan Thompson posted a photo on Twitter posing with the Larry O’Brien trophy at a Tim Hortons. But you may notice another large object....
Ezekiel Elliott Kinda Owned Kam Chancellor
Last night, the Cowboys played the Seahawks in each team’s third preseason game, a.k.a The One Where The Starters Play Until Halftime. In the backfield for Dallas was Ezekiel Elliot, making his pro debut. In the secondary for Seattle was Kam Chancellor, trying extremely hard to pull some “welcome to...
Somehow, Freddie Freeman Didn't Break His Back Trying To Catch This Foul Ball
The Braves are 34 games under .500. Pretty much their only good player is Freddie Freeman. This is more or less by design—Atlanta dumped a bunch of talent so they would be at their worst right before moving into their boondoggle of a new suburban stadium, but they kept Freeman around as a lifeline t...
Lindsey Vonn Jokes on ESPYs Red Carpet That She Masturbated J.J. Watt Back To Health
Tonight on the ESPYs red carpet, Hannah Storm was set to interview J.J. Watt alongside Lindsey Vonn. Storm’s first question was to ask Watt how he was able to play up to his historic standard last season despite suffering a handful of injuries. “I have a very good training staff and great teammates,...
LeBron, Carmelo, Wade, CP3 Open ESPYs With Statement On Gun Violence
The members of the infamous Banana Boat crew have been a few of the most politically vocal major athletes of their generation. Back in 2012 LeBron James and Dwyane Wade led the Miami Heat in wearing hoodies in protest of Trayvon Martin’s death, and last weekend Carmelo Anthony used Instagram to call...
Nearly Perfect: The Night The Bulls Were Tired
On April 8, 1996, the Chicago Bulls trudged into the United Center on an unseasonably cold Monday night to face the Charlotte Hornets. They hadn’t lost at home in 44 games. The Hornets, meanwhile, entered the game as the East’s eighth seed, with a record that was just one game over .500....
Steve Kerr Pulled Another Rabbit Out Of His Hat And Ah Fuck It Was James Michael McAdoo
By now we all know the story of Nick U’Ren, the Warriors lackey who, during last year’s Finals, famously suggested to the team’s coaching staff that they start Andre Iguodala for the first time all season. It was a feel-good anecdote to take away from a Finals that at times bordered on nihilistic—a ...